01|01|7G08|12/17/89|Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire|Christmas is nearly ruined when Marge has to spend all of the family's gift money to remove Bart's tattoo. Homer becomes a department store Santa to raise more cash, but bets it all at the dog races on a hot tip from Barney. Homer and Bart save Christmas by adopting the losing greyhound, Santa's Little Helper.
01|02|7G02|1/14/90|Bart the Genius|Bart cheats on his intelligence test and is mistaken for a child genius. In order to offer him more stimulation, Marge and Homer enroll him in a school for gifted students where he is immediately made to feel like the mediocre student he is. Bart eventually bluffs his way back into Springfield Elementary by claiming he'll study his classmates but winds up confessing to everyone that he cheated.
01|03|7G03|1/21/90|Homer's Odyssey|Homer reevaluates his life after getting fired from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for causing a meltdown. He becomes a public safety advocate and rallies to have speed bumps installed on roads and fights against his old boss. Eventually, he abandons his cause and gets rehired at the plant with a raise.
01|04|7G04|1/28/90|There's No Disgrace Like Home|After an embarrassing experience at his company picnic, Homer begins to wonder if his family is too dysfunctional. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie attend family therapy sessions with Dr. Marvin Monroe, an unorthodox psychotherapist who uses shock therapy to "cure" them.
01|05|7G05|2/04/90|Bart the General|After years of being picked on by Nelson, Bart and other kids from Springfield Elementary decide to fight back. With the help of Grandpa and one-armed Herman, the kids attack Nelson and his buddies with water balloons until he agrees to sign a cease fire treaty.
01|06|7G06|2/11/90|Moaning Lisa|Lisa gets sent home from school with a terrible case of the blues. One night she meets Bleeding Gums Murphy, a jazz musician who teaches her how to express her feelings through music. Lisa writes a song for Bleeding Gums, who plays it at his club, making Lisa feel happy again.
01|07|7G09|2/18/90|The Call of the Simpsons|Homer buys an RV and takes the family camping. Accidentally driving it off the edge of a cliff, Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are trapped in the woods and must fend for themselves. Marge makes her way back to civilization, but Homer is mistaken for Bigfoot and eventually captured by hunters.
01|08|7G07|2/25/90|The Telltale Head|Bart tries to impress Jimbo Jones and his friends by stealing the head of the Jebediah Springfield statue in the town square. The townspeople are devastated by his act of vandalism and only Homer can help him return the head to its shoulders and fend off the angry mob.
01|09|7G11|3/18/90|Life on the Fast Lane|Homer buys Marge a bowling ball for her birthday, prompting her to take up bowling lessons with a suave, French bowling instructor named Jacques. As her game improves, Marge and Jacques grow closer and closer until they're spending every night of the week at the bowling alley and sharing brunch. Realizing that he may be losing Marge, Homer tries to tell her how he feels and remind her of her loyalty to the family.  Guest star: Albert Brooks as Jacques
01|10|7G10|3/25/90|Homer's Night Out|Using his toy spy camera, Bart captures Homer drunk and cavorting with a belly-dancing named Princess Kashmir. When he gets the photo developed, it is photocopied and distributed all over town, ruining Homer's reputation and nearly wrecking his marriage to Marge. Fearing that Bart may be learning a bad lesson about how to treat women, Marge insists that Homer introduce Bart to the Princess so he can learn that women aren't sex objects.
01|11|7G13|4/15/90|The Crepes of Wrath|Bart is sent to France as a foreign exchange student and is forced to live with two slave-driving French winemakers. In his place, the Simpson family takes in Adil, a student from Albania, who's actually a spy stealing the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's secrets. Bart escapes his tormentors' vineyard and manages to speak enough French to tell the authorities. He returns home a national hero.
01|12|7G12|4/29/90|Krusty Gets Busted|With the help of eyewitness Homer Simpson, Krusty the Clown gets busted for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart. Convinced that his hero is wrongly accused, Bart, with Lisa's help, examines the clues and case and determines that Krusty was framed by his bitter sidekick, Sideshow Bob. Krusty is cleared and Bob begins the first of his many prison terms.
01|13|7G01|4/13/90|Some Enchanted Evening|Homer and Marge go out for a much-needed romantic dinner and leave Bart, Lisa and Maggie with a babysitter named Ms. Botz. Bart becomes convinced that Ms. Botz is actually the Babysitter Bandit, a wanted criminal he saw on America's Most Wanted Armed and Dangerous. Bart turns out to be correct and when Ms. Botz ties him and Lisa up and attempts to rob the house, only Maggie can save them.
02|01|7F03|10/11/90|Bart Gets An F|After failing a history test, Bart strikes a deal with Martin Prince to make him cool in exchange for tutoring. Bart successfully transforms Martin into a regular kid, but Martin reneges on his side of the bargain and Bart is once again in danger of failing. After an all-night study session, Bart still fails but he manages to impress Mrs. Krabappel with his grasp of history and she gives him a D-minus, a grade Homer is proud to hang on the fridge.
02|02|7F02|10/18/90|Simpson and Delilah|When Homer gets an experimental hair treatment, he grows a shaggy new mane. Marge finds the new Homer sexy and Mr. Burns mistakes his most incompetent employee for a hungry up-and-comer and promotes him. As part of his promotion, Homer gets an overly attentive assistant named Karl who ensures that his every step is correct and his every move successful. When Homer's hair begins to fall out again, his success goes down the drain as well.  Guest star: Harvey Fierstein as Karl	
02|03|7F04|10/24/90|Treehouse of Horror|In this first installment of the yearly Halloween special, the Simpsons move to a haunted house, beam into outer space and take on a chilling literary classic. In the first segment, the family checks into a mansion that tries to make them kill one another. In the second segment, Kang and Kodos bring the Simpsons aboard a spaceship, and then proceed to entertain and feed them in preparation for what might prove to be their last supper. In the final segment, Lisa reads Bart Edgar Allan Poe's frightening poem, "The Raven."   Guest star: James Earl Jones as The Narrator
02|04|7F01|11/01/90|Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish|Bart and Lisa catch a three-eyed fish in a polluted stream near The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, bringing scads of negative publicity to Mr. Burns. In order to fight the bad press, Burns decides to run for Governor, enlisting a team of spin doctors. But all the spin doctors in the world can't fix Mr. Burns' major blunder when, on live TV, Marge serves him a three-eyed fish for dinner and he finally coughs up his true feelings about pollution.
02|05|7F05|11/08/90|Dancin' Homer|Homer becomes a local celebrity when he is named the mascot for the Springfield Isotopes, a local minor league baseball team. With a repertoire of dance moves and specialized routines, Homer attracts the attention of the team's owner, who recruits him to become the mascot for Capital City Capitals. Homer discovers that his moves don't play in Capital City as well as they did in Springfield and retires from the mascot business.  Guest star: Tony Bennett as himself
02|06|7F08|11/15/90|Dead Putting Society|In a bout of over-the-top neighborly competition, Homer and Ned Flanders pit Bart and Todd against one another in a miniature golf competition. Both boys train incessantly for the big day, but it's clear that the tournament is more important to Homer and Ned, who have made a side bet for the loser's father to mow the other's lawn in a dress. On the day of the big tournament, Bart and Todd face off until the final hole, when they agree to throw the match and tie. Because of their bet, Ned and Homer are both forced to mow each other's lawn in dresses.
02|07|7F07|11/22/90|Bart vs. Thanksgiving|Lisa spends the days leading up the Thanksgiving building a centerpiece dedicated to female heroes of American history. In order to make room for more food on the table, Bart accidentally throws Lisa's centerpiece into the fireplace, destroying it. Sent to his room with no Thanksgiving supper, Bart escapes out his window and, with Santa's Little Helper, wanders the city, eventually landing at a homeless shelter where he is filmed by a TV crew. Returning home, Bart apologizes to Lisa for destroying her centerpiece.
02|08|7F06|12/06/90|Bart the Daredevil|At a Monster Truck event, Bart spots his hero Captain Lance Murdock, a daredevil who attempts to jump his motorcycle over a tank filled with great white sharks, electric eels, piranhas, alligators, a ferocious lion and one drop of blood that drives all the wild animals insane. Inspired to follow in Murdock's footsteps, Bart attempts increasingly risky skateboard jumps until he sets his sights on Springfield Gorge. Homer tries to stop Bart from jumping, only to find himself in danger of accidentally skating off the ramp and into the gorge.
02|09|7F09|12/20/90|Itchy & Scratchy & Marge|Convinced that the images on "The Itchy & Scratchy Show" are a bad influence on kids, Marge wages a one-woman campaign against the show that eventually forces the creator, Roger Meyers, Jr., to curb the violence in favor of bland, lovey-dovey plots. The new format bombs and the show's ratings plunge. Meanwhile, Marge is asked to comment on The Springfield Art Museum's exhibition of Michelangelo's "David." Not finding it at all objectionable, Marge loses her standing with the anti-free speech brigade that once supported her.
02|10|7F10|1/10/91|Bart Gets Hit by a Car|Mr. Burns hits Bart with his car, sending him on a trip to heaven and hell while he's unconscious. After consulting the crooked attorney Lionel Hutz, Homer and Marge attempt to sue Mr. Burns for a million dollars. Burns is prepared to settle for $500,000, but promptly withdraws the offer when he discovers that the Simpsons have exaggerated Bart's injuries.  Guest star: Phil Hartman as Lionel Hutz
02|11|7F11|1/24/91|One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish|Homer discovers the wonders of sushi, trying a piece of every fish on the menu of the Happy Sumo restaurant. But when he eats a bad piece of blowfish, he is poisoned and given 24 hours to live by Dr. Hibbert. With one day left on earth, Homer makes a list of everything he ever wanted to do but didn't and tries to pack it all in before he succumbs to the blowfish poison. After staying up all night, Homer survives and goes on to live his life exactly as he did before--watching TV and eating salty treats.  Guest star: Larry King as himself
02|12|7F12|1/31/91|The Way We Was|When the TV breaks, Marge takes the opportunity to share the story of how she and Homer met with Bart and Lisa. Flashing back to 1974, we see Homer as ne'er-do-well high school student and Marge as a budding feminist. Homer becomes smitten with Marge and tries to get close to her by enlisting her as his French tutor. After several hours of verb conjugation, Marge falls for Homer too, only to become enraged when he admits that he's not even a French student and only said he was to get her to spend time with him. Marge rejects Homer's invitation to the prom and goes with Artie Ziff, a nerdy debate club colleague of hers. Artie turns out to be a terrible date and Marge realizes that it's Homer who she really wants.  Guest star: Jon Lovitz as Artie Ziff and Mr. Seckofsky 
02|13|7F13|2/07/91|Homer vs. Lisa and the Eighth Commandment|Homer becomes the most popular guy in town when he gets an illegal cable hook-up. But Lisa doesn't approve and fears that Homer will go to hell for violating the Eighth Commandment. Lisa seeks advice from Reverend Lovejoy, who simply tells her not to watch the stolen cable. Later, Homer invites all of his new friends over to watch a big fight, but he begins to feel guilty about stealing the transmission and, to lessen his guilt, cuts the cable line.
02|14|7F15|2/14/91|Principal Charming|Marge enlists Homer's help to find Aunt Selma a husband. During his search, Homer is called into Springfield Elementary to meet with Principal Skinner and decides that the principal is the man for Selma. Skinner agrees to meet Selma but mistakenly falls in love with Aunt Patty instead, causing Selma to grow even more depressed about her life. Even though Patty enjoys Skinner's company, she eventually gives him up to make her sister happy.
02|15|7F16|2/21/91|Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?|Homer discovers that he has a long-lost half brother, Herb Powell, who is the wealthy CEO of a car company. When Homer and Herb meet, they instantly hit it off and Herb takes in the Simpson family as his own. Herb hires Homer to help design a car for regular guys, but Homer's design proves so disastrous that it bankrupts Herb's company and forces the brothers apart once again.  Guest star: Danny DeVito as Herb Powell
02|16|7F14|3/07/91|Bart's Dog Gets an F|After a series of destructive acts, the entire Simpson family loses patience with Santa's Little Helper. Marge and Homer insist on sending the dog to Emily Winthrop's Canine College but Santa's Little Helper proves too unruly and stupid to learn anything. Homer and Marge threaten to give the dog away if he doesn't pass his obedience training, so Bart tries as hard as he can to train him, but Santa's Little Helper refuses to lie down or do any of the other tricks he was taught. Somehow, Bart finally gets through to the dog, who ultimately passes Canine College and stays with the family.   Guest star: Tracey Ullman as Emily Winthrop
02|17|7F17|3/28/91|Old Money|Grandpa Simpson falls in love with Bea Simmons, a fellow resident of the Springfield Retirement Castle. During the course of their brief romance, Bea passes away and leaves Grandpa her entire savings, $100,000. Grandpa decides to give the money to charity but can't decide which one is worthiest. Eventually, he donates the money to the Retirement Castle to buy new easy chairs and equipment.  Guest star: Audrey Meadows as Bea Simmons
02|18|7F18|4/11/91|Brush With Greatness|Marge's interest in art is reawakened when she finds some of her old paintings in the attic. Signing up for a painting class taught by Professor Lombardo at Springfield Community College, Marge eventually develops enough confidence in her work to enter the Springfield Art Fair and win. Her winning painting catches the eye of Mr. Burns, who hires her to paint his official portrait, a task that proves very difficult because Marge finds Mr. Burns to be excessively ugly. Eventually, she paints a picture that emphasizes Mr. Burns' flaws. But rather than embarrassing him, the portrait humanizes him in the eyes of the public and he is forced to accept the painting as a success.  Guest star: Jon Lovitz as Professor Lombardo; Ringo Starr as himself.
02|19|7F19|4/25/91|Lisa's Substitute|When Lisa's teacher Miss Hoover gets Lyme Disease, Mr. Bergstrom takes over the class. Lisa finds Mr. Bergstrom's teaching methods incredibly inspiring and discovers an entirely new love for learning. When Miss Hoover returns to her class, Lisa is devastated to lose her most positive grown-up role model. Eventually, she realizes that while Mr. Bergstrom was one of a kind, she can find role models in other people, including her own father.
02|20|7F20|5/02/91|The War of the Simpsons|When Homer humiliates Marge at a party they've thrown for their friends and neighbors, the only thing that can save their marriage is a weekend retreat for married couples run by Reverend Lovejoy up at Catfish Lake. Marge is determined to fix their marriage, but Homer is more determined to catch General Sherman, the freakishly large catfish that lives in the lake. Marge tells Homer that if he really loves her, he won't spend any time fishing, but while taking a walk along the lake one morning, Homer finds himself unable to resist the chance to catch General Sherman. When Marge finds him wrestling the gigantic fish into a boat, she scolds him for lying to her. Homer proves his love for Marge the only way he can: He lets General Sherman go.
02|21|7F21|5/9/91|Three Men and a Comic Book|Bart becomes obsessed with buying the first issue of Radioactive Man, but can't scrape together the $100 he needs to make it his own. Enlisting Milhouse and Martin Prince, Bart is finally able to buy the comic, even though he only possesses one third of it. But things get hairy when none of them can decide who gets to keep it or for how long. The three enter into a dangerous confrontation that threatens to destroy not only their precious investment, but their friendships as well.  Guest star: Daniel Stern as The Narrator (adult Bart voice)
02|22|7F22|8/11/91|Blood Feud|When Mr. Burns gets sick, only a transfusion of Bart's blood, which is a special type, can save him. With the boy's blood coursing through his veins, Mr. Burns is more alive than ever and writes a thank-you note to Bart. Homer is convinced that Burns has not shown his boy enough gratitude and writes his boss a nasty letter. Realizing he's made a mistake, Homer tries repeatedly to stop Burns from getting the note, but can't do it in time. Reading the letter, Mr. Burns vows to ruin Homer's life, but after some strong words from Mr. Smithers, the mogul realizes that he is wrong and shows his gratitude by buying the Simpson family a huge, frightening Olmec Indian statue for their house.
03|01|7F24|9/19/91|Stark Raving Dad|When he wears a pink shirt to work, Homer's coworkers mistake him for a mental patient and commit him to the New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally Interesting. While there, Homer meets a tall, stocky white man who claims to be Michael Jackson. Despite his reservations, Homer befriends "Michael&q uot; and takes his new pal home with him upon his release. Meanwhile, Lisa celebrates her eighth birthday without a present from Bart, who was too inconsiderate to get her anything. With "Michael's" help, Bart writes a special song for Lisa that proves to be the best gift she ever received. Witnessing the tender scene, "Michael" admits that he's really Leon Kompowsky, a bricklayer.  Guest star: Michael Jackson as Leon Kompowsky
03|02|8F01|9/26/91|Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington|Lisa enters an essay contest and wins a trip for the whole family to go to Washington, D.C. While there, her faith in democracy is shattered when she witnesses a congressman accepting a bribe. In her desire to uphold this nation's ideals, Lisa decides to expose the corrupt official, and in doing so has him arrested in a sting operation.
03|03|7F23|10/03/91|When Flanders Failed|Ned Flanders decides to open his own business called the Leftorium, a store that sells tools and products aimed at left-handed consumers. Homer, filled with resentment towards Flanders, hopes that the Leftorium fails. Needless to say, the business is not a smashing success and Flanders goes broke, forcing his family to sell their furniture and possessions in a tag sale. Wracked with guilt, Homer enlists all of the left-handed people he knows (including Mr. Burns and Moe) to buy Flander's wares and save his neighbor from financial ruin.
03|04|8F03|10/10/91|Bart the Murderer|When he crashes his skateboard into the stairwell of the Legitimate Businessman's Social Club, Bart falls in with a particularly bad crowd: the Springfield Mafia. Soon, he befriends Fat Tony, Louie, Joey and other goodfellas, who take him on as their bartender and errand boy. As Bart adopts more and more gangster-like traits, Marge grows anxious. Meanwhile, Principal Skinner disappears and the police strongly suspect that Bart and his new friends are responsible. During the sensational trial, Fat Tony turns stool pigeon and rats out Bart as Skinner's killer. Nobody can save Bart but Skinner himself, who emerges from his hiding place to explain that neither Bart nor the Mob did anything to him.  Guest star: Neil Patrick Harris as himself
03|05|8F04|10/17/91|Homer Defined|During a near-fatal meltdown at The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Homer frantically presses buttons on his console until he hits the right combination and saves the day. Homer becomes a hero even though he knows in his heart that what he did was a fluke. Aristotle Amadopolis, owner of the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant, invites Homer to make a speech for the employees at his plant, and Homer is once again faced with a meltdown. This time, he isn't so lucky and he sees his reputation destroyed just as quickly as it was made.  Guest star: Earvin "Magic" Johnson as himself
03|06|8F05|10/24/91|Like Father Like Clown|During a tear-filled dinner at the Simpsons' house, Krusty the Clown reveals that he is the estranged son of an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi. It seems that Krusty's father, Rabbi Krustofski, never accepted his son's profession, and disowned him years ago. Bart and Lisa decide to reunite the two men, but find that getting the Rabbi to agree to a meeting is nearly impossible. After endless research by Lisa, and repeated negotiations by Bart, the Rabbi agrees to meet with his clown son, and the two men are reunited and appear together on The Krusty the Clown Show.  Guest star: Jackie Mason as Rabbi Krustofski
03|07|8F02|10/31/91|Treehouse of Horror II|After eating piles and piles of Halloween candy, Bart, Lisa and Homer have nightmares that haunt them all night. Lisa dreams that the family goes on a trip to Morocco and buys a cursed monkey paw that grants its owner three wishes. By wishing for world peace, Lisa accidentally paves the way for an alien invasion by Kang and Kodos, who enslave the human race. Homer dreams that Mr. Burns steals his brain for a giant robot he's building. Due to an accident, Mr. Smithers is forced to sew Mr. Burns' head onto Homer's body, creating a horrific two-headed creature. Bart's dream, in which he has the power to read minds and affect people with his thoughts, seems less like a nightmare at first. But eventually, he realizes he's used his powers for evil and repents.
03|08|8F06|11/07/91|Lisa's Pony|When Homer disappoints Lisa one too many times, he tries to make it up to her with one grand gesture: He buys her a pony. Lisa is thrilled, but Homer and Marge are shocked to discover how expensive maintaining the animal can be. Homer is forced to take on another job working the graveyard shift at the Kwik-E-Mart to pay the bills. When she realizes her father is overworked, Lisa decides to give up her pony.
03|09|8F07|11/14/91|Saturdays of Thunder|Bart becomes deeply immersed in competitive soapbox racing while Homer begins to realize that he's not as good a father as he thought. After attending a lecture at National Fatherhood Institute, Homer becomes a more attentive father, helping Bart build the ultimate soapbox racer. But Bart decides not to use it in his big race against Nelson Muntz, instead opting to borrow Martin Prince's scientifically engineered aerodynamic racer. Homer is devastated by Bart's rejection, but still attends the race and watches as Bart beats Nelson.
03|10|8F08|11/21/91|Flaming Moe's|Homer invents a bizarre drink he calls the Flaming Homer. It's so good that Moe steals his recipe, renames it the Flaming Moe, and takes credit for it. The Flaming Moe revitalizes the bartender's business, turning Moe's Tavern into the hottest spot in Springfield. Meanwhile, Homer is so angered by Moe's stealing of his idea that he sabotages Moe's chance to sell the recipe for the Flaming Moe to representatives of Tipsy McStagger's bar and grill franchise. Realizing he shouldn't have taken credit in the first place, Moe makes him a Flaming Homer on the house.  Guest stars: Aerosmith as themselves
03|11|8F09|12/05/91|Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk|Mr. Burns sells The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for $100 million. The buyers are two wealthy German investors who promptly fire Homer and other employees. After a confrontation with Homer and others at Moe's, Mr. Burns realizes he should never have sold the plant. After negotiations, Burns buys back the plant and re-hires Homer, plotting to get revenge on him in the future.
03|12|8F10|12/26/91|I Married Marge|It's a walk down memory lane as Homer and Marge recount their early years for Bart and Lisa. Back in 1980, a young Homer and Marge are forced to get married at Shotgun Pete's Wedding Chapel after Marge becomes pregnant. But married life is difficult for the young couple and Homer decides to leave Marge until he is able to provide the sort of life he thinks she deserves. Marge tracks Homer down at his new job at the Gulp 'N Blow and the two agree to stick it out and build a family together.
03|13|8F11|1/09/92|Radio Bart|Homer buys Bart a Superstar Celebrity microphone for his birthday. Bart thinks it's the lamest gift in the world until he realizes he can play some great pranks with it. One of his pranks backfires when the entire town comes to the rescue of "Timmy O'Toole," the little boy Bart pretends has fallen down a well. Krusty the Clown brings his celebrity friends, including Sting, to record a song "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well" to benefit Timmy. Realizing things have gotten out of hand, Bart tries to undo his prank, but winds up falling down the well himself. He eventually admits that there was no Timmy O'Toole and the whole town is angered because a 10-year-old boy took them for fools. The only people willing to dig Bart out of the well are Homer and Sting.  Guest star: Sting as himself
03|14|8F12|1/23/92|Lisa the Greek|Homer discovers that Lisa has an uncanny ability to pick winning football teams. Soon, the two of them spend every Sunday afternoon together, betting on football games and winning. During these "Daddy-Daughter Days," Lisa feels closer to Homer than ever, but she begins to feel betrayed when she realizes Homer is only interested in her winning picks. Lisa rebels by refusing to pick a winner for the Super Bowl until Homer apologizes for being selfish. They agree to have Daddy-Daughter Days after the end of the football season and continue to bond.
03|15|8F14|2/06/92|Homer Alone|Marge has a nervous breakdown and is sent to Rancho Relaxo resort for some much-needed rest and relaxation. While she's off pampering herself, Homer sends Bart and Lisa to stay with their Aunts Patty and Selma but must take care of Maggie himself. During the night, Maggie disappears and Homer frantically runs around town looking for her. Spotted by the Springfield Police, Maggie is finally brought back to Homer and Marge returns from her vacation clueless about her daughter's little adventure.
03|16|8F16|2/13/92|Bart the Lover|During a particularly long detention jag, Bart discovers that his teacher, Mrs. Krabappel, has placed a personal ad looking for love. Thinking it would be funny to string her along, Bart writes her a love letter as "Woodrow," the perfect man who loves holding hands and hates yo-yos. Mrs. Krabappel falls madly in love with Woodrow and Bart begins to realize that he's done a very cruel thing. With the help of his family, Bart writes a sweet goodbye letter and lets his teacher gently off the hook.
03|17|8F13|2/20/92|Homer at the Bat|Mr. Burns makes a million dollar bet with his arch-rival Aristotle Amadopolis that the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant team will beat the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant team in the softball championships. To ensure victory, Burns hires a number of ringers, including pro baseball players Darryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Steve Sax, Roger Clemens, Jose Canseco, Don Mattingly, Ozzie Smith, Wade Boggs and Mike Scioscia to replace the plant employees he cut from the team. But as game day approaches, the pros all succumb to various strange ailments and accidents that prevent them from playing and it's up to Homer and his teammates to beat the Shelbyville team. With bases loaded and the score tied in the ninth inning, Homer is sent to bat and wins the game when the pitch hits him in the head and accidentally scores a homer.  Guest stars: Darryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Steve Sax, Roger Clemens , Jose Conseco, Don Mattingly, Ozzie Smith, Wade Boggs, and Mike Scioscia as themselves
03|18|8F15|2/27/92|Separate Vocations|After taking career aptitude tests, Lisa discovers that the occupation she's best suited for is homemaker while Bart is pegged as a future police officer. Each takes the opportunity to explore their options as Lisa spends the day doing chores with Marge and Bart goes on a ride along with the police. Lisa hates her role and rebels by becoming a troublemaker at school. Police life fits Bart like a glove and he becomes a hall monitor, handing out demerits to his classmates for minor infractions. When Lisa secretly steals all of the teachers' manuals, it's up to Bart and Principal Skinner to figure out who did it. Realizing his sister is the culprit, Bart takes the rap and returns to his life as a bad student and detention regular.  Guest star: Steve Allen as himself
03|19|8F17|3/12/92|Dog of Death|Santa's Little Helper is rushed to the hospital to undergo an emergency operation. Homer is saddened to tell Bart and Lisa that they just can't afford the $750 for the operation, but seeing how much everyone--including himself--loves the dog, he resolves to find a way to pay for it. To save up the money, everyone must give up their small luxuries and begin to resent the dog for forcing them to lose out on the things they enjoy. Hurt and dejected, Santa's Little Helper runs away from home, only to be adopted by Mr. Burns, who trains him to become one of his vicious attack hounds. After a long brainwashing process, Santa's Little Helper becomes a bloodthirsty killer. When Bart goes to Burns' mansion to retrieve his dog, Santa's Little Helper tries to attack him but remembers all the good times they had and snaps out of his brainwashed state. The dog then returns to the family that loves him.
03|20|8F19|3/26/92|Colonel Homer|Homer and Marge have a fight after attending a boring movie and Homer drives off angry. As he drives, he pulls up to a honky-tonk bar called Beer 'N' Brawl where he meets an aspiring country music singer named Lurleen Lumpkin. Struck by her talent and her beauty, Homer becomes her manager, securing her gigs and a record deal while at the same time fraying his relationship with Marge. Even though it's clear that Lurleen is falling in love with Homer, he resists her come-ons and signs away Lurleen's contract to another manager in order to be a better husband to Marge.  Guest star: Beverly D'Angelo as Lurleen Lumpkin
03|21|8F20|4/08/92|Black Widower|Selma agrees to marry her prison pen pal, Sideshow Bob. Bart and Lisa are terrified of their soon-to-be new uncle, since Bob swore he'd get revenge on Bart for having him sent to prison for framing Krusty the Clown for robbery. Sideshow Bob tries to show the Simpsons that he has changed his ways in prison, but Bart remains skeptical. His suspicion pays off when Bob tries to kill Aunt Selma on their honeymoon. Bart foils the plot and it's back to prison for Bob, back to spinsterhood for Selma.  Guest star: Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob
03|22|8F21|4/23/92|The Otto Show|After seeing Spinal Tap bring the house down (sort of) in concert, Bart decides he wants to learn how to play electric guitar. Playing is harder than Bart thought and he becomes dejected when he sees what a guitar god his bus driver, Otto, is. Because he was too busy jamming with Bart's guitar, Otto arrives late to school and is fired until he can get a new license from the DMV. With no job and no prospects, Otto is thrown out of his apartment and is forced to live in the Simpsons' garage until he can get his job back. Based on their mutual dislike for Homer, Patty approves Otto's new license and Otto is allowed to drive the school bus again.  Guest stars: Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer as Spinal Tap
03|23|8F22|5/07/92|Bart's Friend Falls in Love|Everything's coming up Milhouse when Bart's best friend falls in love with the new girl, Samantha Stanky. Bart is jealous of how much time Milhouse is spending with Samantha and plots to break them up by telling Samantha's strict father about the relationship. Samantha is packed off to Catholic school and Milhouse is heartbroken. Bart admits that it was his fault that Samantha was sent away and the two boys come to blows. Eventually they make up and go visit Samantha at her new school, where she is very happy.
03|24|8F23|8/27/92|Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?|Homer's half-brother Herb Powell returns, but this time not as a successful businessman. After Homer wrecked his car company, Herb has become a bum, but with a little help from Maggie, he thinks he has come up with a shoo-in invention that will put him back on top. Herb wants to build the first baby translator, a device that will interpret babies' cries and mumbles into plain speech. Homer agrees to fund the research and when Herb's business takes off, he buys Homer and the whole family lavish gifts to thank them.  Guest stars: Danny DeVito as Herb Powell and Joe Frazier as himself
04|01|8F24|9/24/92|Kamp Krusty|After making a deal with Homer to get good grades in school, Bart and Lisa go away to Kamp Krusty, "The Krustiest Place on Earth!" While they're initially excited about their summer, they soon learn that Kamp Krusty is a run-down prison run by the tyrannical Mr. Black and his C.I.T. henchmen, Dolph, Kearney and Jimbo Jones. Worse yet, instead of sports and arts-and-crafts, the kids are expected to pass their days sewing counterfeit wallets. The only thing that gets Bart through this ordeal is the hope that Krusty himself will visit, but when that doesn't happen, the kids lead a rebellion against Mr. Black and take over the camp. With Bart as their leader, the kids speak to the media and reveal what a sham Kamp Krusty is. Meanwhile, with Bart and Lisa away from home, Homer and Marge are getting in touch with their relationship. Homer feels so good, he's even losing some weight and growing some hair. This all changes when he sees Bart on TV, condemning Krusty and his ramshackle camp. In the end, Krusty apologizes to the campers and takes them on a trip to Tijuana.
04|02|9F18|10/01/92|A Streetcar Named Marge|Marge is cast in the role of Blanche DuBois in Oh! Streetcar, the musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire directed by the flamboyant Llewellyn Sinclair at the Springfield Community Center. Homer isn't very supportive of Marge's interest in acting, so she uses her anger towards him for inspiration in some of the play's more emotional moments. Acting opposite Ned Flanders as Stanley Kowalski, Marge gets so absorbed in her role that at one point she nearly slashes Ned with a broken bottle. Meanwhile, Maggie has been placed in day care at the Ayn Rand School for Tots and leads a rebellion against the strict teachers. Watching Marge perform in the play, Homer is moved and realizes he should have been more supportive.  Guest star: Jon Lovitz as Llewellyn Sinclair
04|03|9F01|10/08/92|Homer the Heretic|One Sunday morning, Homer decides that he'd rather sleep late than go to church. Marge is disappointed, but doesn't argue with him. While home alone, Homer dances in his underwear, drinks waffle batter and loafs around watching TV. Having thoroughly enjoyed his morning, Homer decides to forgo church for good and start his own religion. Marge doesn't approve, but that night Homer has a dream in which God visits him and expresses his acceptance of Homer's new religion. While home on Sunday, worshipping in his own special way by reading Playdude and smoking cigars, Homer causes a fire that nearly destroys the house. Ned Flanders is the only one who can save Homer's life, and after speaking with Reverend Lovejoy, Homer realizes that he should give up his religion and return to church.
04|04|9F02|10/15/92|Lisa the Beauty Queen|To help Lisa get over her insecurities about her looks, Homer enters her into the Little Miss Springfield Pageant. At first, Lisa looks down on the event, but when she becomes first runner-up after Amber Dempsey, Lisa begins to like being a beauty queen. Soon thereafter, Amber is struck by lightning and Lisa is crowned the official Little Miss Springfield, an honor she relishes until she discovers that she must sit atop a parade float sponsored by Laramie cigarettes. Lisa denounces smoking and is stripped of her crown by pageant officials. But in the end, they can't strip Lisa of her newfound confidence.  Guest star: Bob Hope as himself
04|05|9F04|10/29/92|Treehouse of Horror III|In this year's scarifying special, the Simpsons gather for a Halloween party and exchange ghost stories. In the first tale, told by Lisa, Homer buys Bart a talking Krusty doll with a few glitches: It tries to kill Homer with a knife and strangle him to death. No one believes that the doll is really trying to kill Homer, but when Marge calls the toy company's customer service numbers, it is revealed that the doll was accidentally set to 'evil' instead of 'good.' In the next story, told by Grandpa, Homer plays King Kong to Marge's Fay Wray. Mr. Burns plays a maniacal millionaire who plunders the jungle in search of mythical giant gorilla. The gorilla falls in love with the millionaire's beautiful assistant and carries her to the top of the Empire State building. After a messy confrontation with the army, the gorilla and the girl get married and live happily ever after. Finally, Bart tells a story in which a spell from a book of witchcraft bring Springfield's dead to life. The only thing that can send them back to their graves is the right spell.
04|06|9F03|11/3/92|Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie|Every kid in the world waits with bated breath for the Itchy & Scratchy movie, but Bart is the only one who's not allowed to see it. Marge and Homer ground Bart for his bad behavior, making him miss the most important movie of his life. In a vision of the future in which his son becomes a Supreme Court Justice, Homer imagines seeing a revival of the movie with Bart.
04|07|9F05|11/5/92|Marge Gets a Job|When the Simpsons' house begins sliding off its foundation, Marge is forced to get a job to help make ends meet. Where else can she turn other than The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, where she is promptly hired. While on the job, Marge catches the eye--and the heart--of Mr. Burns, who falls madly in love with her. To impress her, he even hires her favorite singer, Tom Jones, to serenade her, but Marge rejects all of her boss' advances and stays faithful to Homer.  Guest star: Guest Star: Tom Jones as himself
04|08|9F06|11/12/92|The New Kid on the Block|Evergreen Terrace welcomes two new neighbors, Ruth Powers and her lovely teenage daughter, Laura. Bart falls hard for Laura, but she thinks of him as just a little friend. Heartbroken, Bart has to watch as the girl he loves starts dating Jimbo Jones. One night while Laura is babysitting Bart, Lisa and Maggie, Bart devises a way to get revenge on Jimbo, who also happens to be over the house. Bart prank calls Moe's Tavern one last time and claims to be Jimbo and gives his address. Moe charges over to kill Jimbo, but when the little bully starts to cry, Moe reconsiders and leaves. Laura reconsiders, too, breaking up with Jimbo.  Pamela Reed as Ruth Powers; Sara Gilbert as Laura Powers
04|09|9F06|11/19/92|Mr. Plow|At the auto show, Homer impulsively buys a snow plow and starts a business as Mr. Plow. An incredibly snowy winter sets the business rolling, making Homer a success and earning him the key to the city from Mayor Quimby. All is well until Barney sets up a rival business as the Plow King and wipes the streets with Homer. To cut out his competition, Homer calls Barney under an assumed name and dispatches the Plow King to clear a path on forbidding Widow's Peak. Barney foolishly drives up there and is caught under an avalanche. Only Homer can save him from an icy death and both men agree to work together as a team. Right at that moment, the sun bursts out and all the snow in Springfield melts into puddles, leaving them both without livelihoods.  Guest stars: Linda Ronstadt as herself; Adam West as himself.
04|10|9F08|12/3/92|Lisa's First Word|While trying to get Maggie to say her first words, Marge tells Bart and Lisa about what they were like as babies. In flashback, we see that Bart's first words were "aye carumba." When Lisa was born, Homer hoped that her first word would be "daddy," but instead she said "Bart," which always secretly broke Homer's heart. Back in the present, as Homer puts Maggie to bed, he tells her that it's okay that she doesn't speak yet. Just then, she looks up at him and says the word he's been waiting to hear, "Daddy."  Guest star: Liz Taylor as the voice of Maggie.
04|11|9F09|12/17/92|Homer's Triple Bypass|In a series of terrifying X-ray shots of Homer's chest, we see that his heart is dangerously clogged with plaque and doughnut residue and that he is in need of a triple bypass operation. The operation costs $40,000, but Homer cannot afford that much, so he goes to Dr. Nick Riviera, who agrees to do the operation for $129.95. During the operation, Dr. Nick loses his nerve and only Lisa, who has been studying the heart, can talk him through the procedure. Homer recovers and is able to live a long, doughnut-filled life.
04|12|9F10|1/14/93|Marge vs. the Monorail|Mr. Burns is forced to pay a $3 million fine for illegally dumping toxic waste under trees in the park. At a town meeting where Springfield's citizens discuss how to best use the new funds, Lyle Lanley, a charismatic traveling salesman convinces them to build a completely useless monorail. Marge is the only one in town who disapproves of the project and when the monorail is complete disaster, her reservations are proved correct. Guest star: Leonard Nimoy as himself
04|13|9F11|1/21/93|Selma's Choice|Aunt Selma realizes that she might wind up dying all alone and thinks that having a baby can relieve her loneliness. To test her maternal instincts, she takes Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, an amusement park, where she realizes that parenthood isn't all it's cracked up to be. At the park, Lisa gets high by drinking the water in the Little Land of Duff ride, and Bart misbehaves in his own unique way. Shaken by the experience, Selma is pleased to have no kids of her own and accepts her life and everyone in it, including Jub Jub, her pet iguana.
04|14|9F12|2/4/93|Brother From the Same Planet|When Homer leaves Bart waiting in the pouring rain after soccer practice, he must earn back his son's love. Bart expresses his anger by going to a Big Brother program and claiming to be an abandoned child so he can get a new "father." He's paired with Tom, a motorcycle-riding fighter pilot who spoils him. To get revenge on Bart, Homer signs up to be a Big Brother and "adopts" Pepi, a needy child. When Homer and Tom clash over Bart, they fight viciously and Bart realizes how much his father loves him. Bart returns to Homer and Tom winds up adopting Pepi.
04|15|9F13|2/11/93|I Love Lisa|Trying to be nice to Ralph Wiggum, Lisa gives him a Valentine's Day card. Ralph misinterprets the gesture and thinks that Lisa is in love with him. Soon, he begins to pursue her the only way he knows how: foolishly. Lisa tries to let him down nicely, but Ralph won't get the hint until she yells at him in front of a live television audience at the Krusty the Clown anniversary special. Heartbroken, Ralph channels his feelings into his performance as George Washington in his school's Presidents Day show. Ralph's acting is superb, and after a thunderous applause he is able to accept Lisa as just a friend.
04|16|9F14|2/18/93|Duffless|Lisa conducts a secret experiment for the Springfield Elementary School science fair to see who's smarter, Bart or a hamster. Meanwhile, Homer is forced to swear off beer after being arrested on a D.U.I. Bart realizes what Lisa is doing and ruins her plans for the science fair by winning first prize for his own, more sensational, hamster experiment. Homer manages to stay off of beer for an entire month and, instead of drinking to celebrate his sobriety, he decides to stay on the wagon and enjoy a bike ride with Marge.
04|17|9F15|3/11/93|Last Exit to Springfield|Homer finds himself filling in for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's union leader when it comes time to negotiate their new contract with Mr. Burns. Homer is a tough negotiator, despite not knowing the first thing about union organizing, and forces Burns to accept the union's demands on the condition that Homer be removed as leader.
04|18|9F17|4/1/93|So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show|Bart's April Fools' prank backfires and lands Homer in the hospital in a coma. At Homer's bedside, The Simpson family reminisces about all of the good times they've had over the years. A half-hour of precious screen time is filled with clips you've seen before and Homer eventually emerges from his coma.
04|19|9F16|4/15/93|The Front|Convinced they can write better Itchy & Scratchy scripts than the writers who currently work on the cartoon, Bart and Lisa set out to write their own shows. Their scripts are rejected by Roger Meyers, the show's producer, until Bart and Lisa use Grandpa's name as their pseudonym. As "Abraham Simpson," the kids are hired to write for the show and eventually win an Emmy award for their work. At the awards, Grandpa accepts his Emmy from Brooke Shields, but goes up to the podium and makes a rambling, anti-cartoon speech that gets him fired.  Guest star: Brooke Shields as herself.
04|20|9F18|2/29/93|Whacking Day|Everyone in Springfield is excited for Whacking Day, but as the holiday approaches, Lisa condemns it as violent. Whacking Day is a decade-long tradition which calls for the townspeople to beat snakes to death with sticks. Lisa decides to save the snakes with the help of Whacking Day's honorary MC, Barry White, who uses his sonorous bass vocal style to lure the snakes to safety, where no one can whack them.  Guest star: Barry White as himself
04|21|9F28|5/6/93|Marge in Chains|Marge gets busted for shoplifting at the Kwik-E-Mart and is sentenced to thirty days in prison. Bart concocts a brilliant scheme to break her out that involves a party dress, a wig and a crowbar. But what finally springs Marge is the rioting townspeople of Springfield, who desperately need the inmate's patented marshmallow squares for the Springfield Park Commission's annual bake sale.  Guest star: David Crosby as himself.
04|22|9F19|5/13/93|Krusty Gets Kancelled|After the most successful advertising campaign Springfield has ever seen, The Krusty the Clown show gets bumped in the ratings by Arthur Crandall, a droll ventriloquist, and Gabbo, his excitable dummy. Gabbo is a huge hit, and Krusty's show is cancelled as a result of falling ratings. Bart and Lisa enlist the help of Krusty's Hollywood pals like Hugh Hefner, Bette Midler, Elizabeth Taylor, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and others to save his show. After an emotional TV special, Krusty's show is brought back for good. No one ever hears from Arthur Crandall or Gabbo again.  Guest stars: Hugh Hefner, Bette Midler, Elizabeth Taylor, Luke Perry, Johnny Carson, Barry White and the Red Hot Chili Peppers as themselves.
05|01|9F21|9/30/93|Homer's Barbershop Quartet|While flipping through records at a flea market, Bart and Lisa discover analbum by the Be Sharps, a barbershop quartet comprised of Homer, Barney, Apuand Principal Skinner. As Homer recounts the story, it is clear that the BeSharps saga is a classic tale of four men who rise to the top of the entertainmentbusiness, only to find that the demands of fame and success destroy theirfriendships and strain their love for their art. After telling his kids allabout the band, Homer gets nostalgic and the Be Sharps reunite for one lastconcert on the roof of Moe's Tavern.Guest Stars: George Harrison as himself; David Crosby as himself.
05|02|9F22|10/07/93|Cape Feare|Bart begins receiving threatening letters from Sideshow Bob. When Bob is releasedfrom prison, Bart is terrified of being killed by the sociopathic former sidekick.To protect Bart, the entire Simpson family undergoes Witness Relocation andmoves to a houseboat docked on the aptly named Terror Lake, just outside ofSpringfield. Bob tracks them down, ties up Homer, Marge, and Lisa, and triesto kill Bart. Bart outsmarts Sideshow Bob by asking him to sing the entirescore to The H.M.S. Pinafore, thereby buying enough time to trap him in themud beside a brothel where Chief Wiggum and other Springfield Police Departmentofficers just happen to be spending some off-time.Guest star: Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob.
05|03|1F02|10/14/93|Homer Goes to College|BWhen it is revealed that Homer is grossly unqualified to be a safety inspectorat the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, he goes to Springfield Universityto study nuclear physics. While there, Homer befriends a group of nerds andencourages them to steal a rival school's mascot pig. The prank backfires,getting the nerds expelled. In attempt to get them reinstated, Homer devisesanother brilliant prank. This one lands their dean in traction, but when Homercomes clean about the first prank, the nerds are once again allowed back oncampus. And it's just in time, too, since finals are coming up. After a marathonstudy session, Homer still flunks nuclear physics, but his new friends hackinto the school computer and change his grade to an "A.".
05|04|1F01|3/18/93|Rosebud|During a touching birthday slide presentation Smithers makes for Mr. Burns,we see the early life of Springfield's richest man and learn that despiteall his power and money, he'll never be whole without Bobo, his favorite childhoodteddy bear. Smithers dresses up in a giant plush bear suit in an attempt toreplace Bobo in Burns' heart, but it doesn't work. Meanwhile, Bart buys abag of ice at the Kwik-E-Mart that contains a stinky, rotting teddy bear.Bart gives the bear to Maggie, who falls in love with her new toy. Homer realizesthat Maggie's new bear is the same one Burns is offering a reward for andnegotiates to give it to his boss for a price. Negotiations break down whenHomer sees how much Maggie loves the bear and to retaliate, Mr. Burns triesto force the issue by taking over the broadcasting of Homer's favorite showsand shutting off the beer supply to Springfield. Eventually, Burns and Maggiemeet for a one-on-one meeting and Maggie gives the old man his bear back.Guest Stars: The Ramones as themselves.
05|05|1F04|10/28/93|Treehouse of Horror IV|In this year's tricky triptych of terror, Bart presents three Halloween treatsbased on paintings in the "Fright Gallery." In the first story,Homer sells his soul to the devil (played by Ned Flanders) for a doughnut.When the devil wants to uphold Homer's side of the bargain, it's up to Margeand Lisa to argue why Homer's soul shouldn't be sucked into hell for all eternity.In the second installment, Bart has a nightmare about the school bus crashingthat might just be coming true the next day during his commute. Bart spiesa goblin on the side of the bus that could cause a crash, but no one believeshim until it may be too late. And finally, Mr. Burns invites the Simpson familyover to his castle for dinner where he bites Bart, turning him into a vampire.As Bart and his newly minted vampire friends wreak havoc, Lisa enlists Homerto kill Mr. Burns, the head vampire. When Homer drives a stake through Burns'heart (after some near misses and some outright bad aim), Lisa realizes thatBurns wasn't the head vampire and that there's still the mother of all bloodsuckersto dispatch.
05|06|1F03|11/4/93|Marge on the Lam|Marge spends some time with her neighbor, Ruth Powers, and the two find thatthey enjoy each other's company very much. One night, Ruth picks up Margein a cherry '66 T-Bird convertible that just happens to have been reportedstolen by Ruth's ex-husband. Pursued by Chief Wiggum, Marge and Ruth taketo the road, Thelma and Louise-style. Wiggum, with Homer as his passenger,tracks down the stolen vehicle, but loses it when Ruth smartly turns her headlightsoff. Ruth and Marge get away, but Homer and Chief Wiggum drive the squad caroff a cliff. The only thing that saves them is a pile of garbage so high theybarely crash at all.Guest Stars: Pamela Reed as Ruth Powers; George Fenneman as the Narrator.
05|07|1F05|11/11/93|Bart's Inner Child|Homer and Marge are entranced by a charismatic self-help guru named Brad Goodman.While attending a Brad Goodman seminar with his parents, Bart is asked toappear on stage with the man himself and, as usual, misbehaves. Rather thanbe annoyed by Bart's sarcastic comments, Goodman uses Bart as a role modelfor his audience, a boy completely unafraid to listen to the squeaks and squawksof his "inner child." The people of Springfield take Goodman's wordsto heart, hosting a "Do What You Feel Festival." James Brown singsat the festival, but things go terribly wrong when the stage collapses becausethe carpenter responsible for building it didn't "feel" like makingit sturdy. Soon, everyone realizes that the only person who can truly be likeBart is Bart himself and go back to repressing their inner children.Guest Stars: James Brown as himself; Albert Brooks as Brad Goodman.
05|08|1F06|11/18/93|Boy-Scoutz 'N The Hood|Experimenting with a dangerous all-syrup Squishee, Bart and Milhouse get loopyand run around Springfield singing and having adventures. Waking up with amassive Squishee hangover, Bart remembers that he enlisted in the Junior Campers,the dweebiest after-school program in the world. Bart is prepared to quitthe group, but decides to stay when group leader Ned Flanders leads a lessonon using a pocketknife. Bart becomes entranced by Junior Camping, attendingmeetings and becoming an expert at tying knots. When it comes time for theannual Junior Campers' father and son rafting trip, Bart is too embarrassedof Homer to invite him along. Homer comes anyway, and his terrible navigationand rowing skills land Bart, Ned and Todd way up a creak with no way home.Luckily, Homer saves the day when he's able to smell out a nearby Krusty Burgerfranchise.Guest Star: Ernest Borgnine as himself
05|09|1F07|12/9/93|The Last Temptation of Homer|Homer finds he's falling in love with Mindy Simmons, the beautiful new engineerat the plant. Things only get worse when Homer and Mindy are sent to representthe Springfield Nuclear Power Plant at the National Energy Convention in CapitalCity. The more time they spend together, the more Homer begins to fear thatthere may be more fusion at the hotel than back at the plant. Mindy tellsHomer how she feels about him, and even though he's tempted by her beautyand her love for doughnuts and sandwiches, Homer stays faithful to Marge.Guest Star: Michelle Pfeiffer as Mindy Simmons
05|10|1F08|12/16/93|05|When gambling is legalized in Springfield, Mr. Burns opens an extravagantcasino on the boardwalk. Homer is hired as a blackjack dealer despite hiscounting difficulties and Marge finds herself drawn to the slots, where shebegins to spend all of her time. Meanwhile, cashing in on the trend, Bartopens his own casino in his treehouse. Luckily, Bart escapes the same fateas Mr. Burns, who starts to go crazy from owning a casino. Shut up in hissterile penthouse suite, Burns stop cutting his nails and hair and startswearing tissue boxes as slippers. Down on the casino level, Homer must forceMarge to give up her slot machine addiction.Guest Stars: Robert Goulet as himself; Gerry Cooney as himself
05|11|1F09|1/06/94|Homer the Vigilante|A cunning cat burglar named Molloy is robbing Springfield's citizens of theirmost prized possessions. Homer forms a citizens' watch group that winds up breakingmore laws than they protect. Molloy continues his crime spree uninterrupted,but when he sets his sites on the world's biggest cubic zirconia housed in theSpringfield Museum, he winds up getting busted and returns everything he stole.Guest Star: Sam Neill as Molloy
05|12|1F011|2/03/94|Bart Gets Famous|While working as Krusty the Clown's personal assistant, Bart accidentally stealsthe limelight when he knocks over a set on live TV and says four magic words:"I didn't do it." Bart becomes more famous than anyone, especiallyKrusty, could have ever expected, landing his own TV series, cutting a record,appearing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and on T-shirts from Springfieldto Shelbyville. Bart's fame comes to an end when his fans turn fickle and realizethat "I didn't do it" isn't such a funny catchphrase after all.Guest Star: Conan O'Brien as himself
05|13|1F18|2/10/94|Homer and Apu|After Homer eats tainted meat from the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu finds himself outof a job. As an apology to Homer, Apu moves in with the Simpsons and becomestheir personal chef and valet. Meanwhile, actor James Woods becomes the newclerk at the Kwik-E-Mart. Apu begins to realize that he is not happy withouthis store, so he decides to go on a trek to the world's first Kwik-E-Mart,high up in the hills of India. Homer comes along for the ride, but foils Apu'schance at Kwik-E-Enlightenment and Apu returns to Springfield more depressedthan ever. The only thing that lightens his spirits--and gets him his jobback--is saving James Woods' life during a failed robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart.Guest Star: James Woods as himself
05|14|1F012|2/17/94|Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy|After years of loving her Malibu Stacy doll, it begins to dawn on Lisa thather favorite toy sets a bad example for little girls. Lisa tracks down StacyLovell, the original creator of the Malibu Stacy doll, and together they designand market a positive, pro-girl doll named Lisa Lionheart. The toy is almosta breakout success, but the sneaky corporate henchmen and women behind MalibuStacy quickly create a new Malibu Stacy that knocks Lisa Lionheart out of commission.Guest Star: Kathleen Turner as Stacy Lovell
05|15|1F013|2/24/94|Deep Space Homer|Homer and Barney are recruited to be NASA astronauts, so the organization willbe more appealing to the common man. It looks like Barney will actually be theone shot into space, but when he falls off the wagon, Homer goes instead. Inthe space capsule, Homer causes all forms of accidents and conflicts with otherastronauts like Buzz Aldrin, until he actually endangers the lives of everyoneby breaking the handle off of an outer door. The only thing that can save theday is a heroic inanimate carbon rod.Guest Stars: Buzz Aldrin as himself; James Taylor as himself
05|16|1F14|2/24/94|Homer Loves Flanders|When Homer discovers that Ned Flanders has season football tickets, the twomen begin spending a lot of time together. Homer takes a real liking to Ned,but Ned isn't so sure how he feels about his new best friend. When the Simpsonsand the Flanders go on a joint camping trip, Ned's animosity for Homer growsuntil he finally realizes that he hates his neighbor. Ned tries to shake Homerat every turn, finally blowing up at him at the Springfield Community Church.When the entire congregation looks down on Ned for his outburst, Homer defendshim and the two decide to remain friends. That is, until Homer remembers thathe hates Ned and everything goes back to normal .
05|17|1F15|3/31/94|Bart Gets an Elephant|Bart wins first prize in a wacky radio contest and becomes the proud owner ofa giant elephant he names Stampy. Stampy, as you might imagine, turns out tobe quite a handful for the Simpson family, but Bart loves his new pet more thananything. Homer, on the other hand, finds Stampy's upkeep too expensive andsells the elephant to an ivory dealer. Bart intervenes and sets Stampy freeto go on a destructive rampage through Springfield. Eventually, Stampy findsa nice home at an animal refuge.
05|18|1F16|4/14/94|Burns' Heir|Well into his eighth or ninth decade, Monty Burns realizes that he has nochildren and therefore no heir for his vast fortune. After an audition processin which every child in Springfield vies for the coveted position as Burns'kid, Bart is selected for his attitude and scrappiness. Taking the boy underhis wing, Burns tries to turn Bart into the son he never had. When he returnshome to his boring old family, Bart resents them for not being rich and overlyindulgent like Burns. Torn between loyalty to Homer and Marge and hunger forall the toys and money Burns throws at him, Bart must decide which familyhe wants to keep. When Mr. Burns insists that Bart fire his own father asan act of loyalty, Bart rebels and fires Burns instead.
05|19|1F18|4/28/94|Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song|Principal Skinner must learn to live without his beloved elementary school whenBart gets him fired. Ned Flanders is brought in to act as principal in Skinner'splace. Coping with life outside of the locker-lined halls isn't easy for Skinner,but when he befriends his one-time nemesis, Bart, things start to look up. Yearsof hostility between the two give way to friendship and Bart eventually comesup with a plot to get Flanders fired and Skinner reinstated. The plot backfires,but Flanders ends up getting fired anyway for using the school PA system tomake a prayer.
05|20|1F19|5/5/94|The Boy Who Knew Too Much|In a case ripped right out of the headlines, Bart is the only witness whenMayor Quimby's ne'er-do-well nephew, Freddy, allegedly assaults a snooty Frenchbutler. Hiding under a table in the kitchen of the Quimby Compound, Bart canplainly see that Freddy didn't harm a single hair on the butler's head. Whenthe case goes to trial and Freddy is sure to be sized-up for a holding cell,the only thing preventing Bart from coming forward and clearing him is thefact that he'll have to admit that he was cutting school that day and receivea stiff detention sentence. As luck would have it, Homer is sitting on theQuimby trial jury and causes a delay of the proceedings because he enjoysbeing sequestered in a hotel. After Lisa's urging, Bart comes forward andclears Freddy. And as a reward for his honesty, Bart only has to serve fourmonths in detention.
05|21|1F21|5/12/94|Lady Bouvier's Lover|Having already fallen hard for Marge, Mr. Burns now finds himself smitten withMarge's mother, Jacqueline Bouvier. Competing for the old lady's affection isGrandpa Simpson, who also thinks that she's the bee's arthritic knees. Burnsis the more dashing suitor and proposes to Mrs. Bouvier, who surprises everyoneand accepts. In a scene straight out The Graduate, Grandpa crashes the weddingjust before Mrs. Bouvier becomes Mrs. Burns and whisks her away and onto a buswhere they awkwardly face their future together.
05|22|1F20|5/19/94|Secrets of A Successful Marriage|Somehow Homer comes to teach an adult education class on how to have a successfulmarriage. Even stranger, he turns out to be pretty good at it, dispensinghomespun advice that his students find useful. He also dispenses quite a bitof personal information and gossip about his marriage to Marge, which causeshis better half to go half-crazy. Homer apologizes but can't seem to stopairing their dirty laundry in class. Marge kicks Homer out and he begins sleepingin Bart's treehouse. Under these conditions, Homer begins to degenerate. Afterlistening to her husband apologize profusely, Marge realizes that Homer needsher more than anyone else in the world and accepts him back.
06|01|7F22|9/4/94|Bart of Darkness|Stuck in his room with a broken leg, Bart watches Ned Flanders through a telescopeand thinks he sees his neighbor murder his wife Maude. The more Bart watches,the more he suspects that Ned has definitely killed Maude and buried her inthe backyard. Bart enlists Lisa to sneak into the Flanders' house for a closerlook, but when Ned returns home holding an ax, Bart can only watch as Lisahides in Flanders' attic. Bart manages to limp his way down the stairs, outof his house and into the Flanders' where he and Lisa confront him about killingMaude. Cornered, Ned breaks down in tears and confesses his awful crime: Hekilled Maude's favorite plant and buried it in the yard so she wouldn't know.
06|02|1F17|9/11/94|Lisa's Rival|Golden child Lisa Simpson finds she's starting to tarnish just a little whena new girl, Allison Taylor, moves to Springfield. Allison is smart, pretty,a great saxophone player and a crack diorama builder. Lisa tries to befriendher new rival, but she's consumed with envy and competitiveness, especiallyas Dioramarama, the annual diorama competition, approaches.Turning to Bart for help, Lisa devises a way to humiliate Allison by replacingher expertly crafted diorama of Edgar Allen Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart withan actual, rotting cow's heart. Lisa feels pangs of regret at the last minuteand backs out of the prank, only to see Allison lose the contest to RalphWiggum, who simply displayed Star Wars action figures in their original boxes.Guest star: Winona Ryder as Allison Taylor
06|03|2F33|9/25/94|Another Simpsons Clip Show|After reading the weepy best-seller The Bridges of Madison County, Marge decidesto sit down with her husband and children and discuss love. What follows isa collection of sweetest, most romantic moments from the last five seasons ofThe Simpsons. The sweetest part of all is that the writers got to take a vacationwhile the editors put together the show.
06|04|2F01|10/02/94|Itchy & Scratchy Land|After weeks of begging, Bart and Lisa finally convince their parents to takethem to Itchy & Scratchy Land, a new high-tech amusement park on a remoteisland. Once there, the kids run off to enjoy the attractions while Homerand Marge spend their day on Parents' Island. All is fine until Bart and Homerare both arrested by park security for harassing the costumed employees. Margebails Homer and Bart out of Itchy & Scratchy jail just as several defectiveItchy & Scratchy robots go on a killing rampage. A bloody battle betweenthe Simpsons and their robot attackers ensues and the family escapes the islandalive. As they are airlifted to safety, Marge requests that the family neverspeak of this trip again.
06|05|2F02|10/09/94|Sideshow Bob Roberts|After getting released from prison yet again, Sideshow Bob attempts to landthe only job suited for a two-time felon: Mayor of Springfield. Backed bya cabal of Republicans led by Mr. Burns and the corpulent talk radio blow-hardBirch Barlow, Bob takes on Mayor Quimby in a dirty fight for the job. Fearingthat Bob will try to kill him yet again, Bart, with Lisa's help, begins toaggressively campaign for Quimby. All their efforts are wasted, however, whenBob wins and decides to build a freeway right through the Simpsons' home.As the demolition trucks roll towards her home, Lisa does some last-minuteinvestigating and discovers that Bob and his powerful backers rigged the election.Armed with the facts, Lisa tricks Bob into publicly admitting his crime andgets him sent back to jail.Guest Stars: Larry King as himself; Dr. Demento as himself; Kelsey Grammeras Sideshow Bob
06|06|2F03|10/30/94|Treehouse of Horror V|In this year's gruesomely ghoulish Halloween gift package, the Simpsons find themselves stuck in a haunted old mansion in the hills, hurtling through the outer reaches of the space-time continuum, and, most frightening of all, in the Springfield Elementary School cafeteria kitchen. In the first segment, Homer is hired by Mr. Burns to be the groundskeeper of his mansion in the mountains. What Mr. Burns neglects to tell Homer and his family is that he has shut off the cable and removed all of the beer from the premises. After several days trapped with no beer and TV, Homer begins to lose his mind and tries to kill his family. Luckily, Bart has been developing his psychic powers and is able to summon Groundskeeper Willie, who plows his way through snowdrifts and ice to save the day. In the second segment, Homer tries to fix the toaster and winds up destroying the entire universe. In the third segment, Bart and Lisa realize that their teachers are putting on weight from eating students.
06|07|2F04|11/06/94|Bart's Girlfriend|Bart falls in love with Reverend Lovejoy's daughter, Jessica. In an effort toimpress her, Bart pretends to be polite and mannered, but he soon learns thatwhat Jessica really likes about him is that he's a bad, bad boy. Together theypull numerous pranks and commit acts of vandalism, but things get out of handwhen Jessica wants Bart to steal from the Springfield Community Church collectionplate. The entire congregation accuses Bart of theft, and when the truth isrevealed, Jessica is sent back to boarding school.Guest Star: Meryl Streep as Jessica Lovejoy
06|08|2F05|11/13/94|Lisa on Ice|When she nearly flunks gym class, Lisa is forced to take up a sport. She realizesthat she's a natural at hockey, becoming the goalie for the Gougers, a pee-weeteam coached by Apu. Lisa is a star player, but things get complicated whenthe Gougers face off against Bart's team. Years of sibling rivalry come outon the ice, but just as Bart is supposed to slap a penalty shot into the goal,he and Lisa realize that their loyalty to each other is stronger than theirloyalty to their teams.
06|09|2F06|11/27/94|Homer Badman|Homer's life is turned upside down when he is accused of sexual harassment byan uppity baby-sitter named Ashley Grant. Protestors camp out on the Simpsons'lawn and reporters scrutinize Homer's every move. His attempts to clear hisname are ruined by a complete lack of political correctness. The only personwho can clear his name is Groundskeeper Willie, who not only witnessed Homer'salleged act of sexual harassment, but videotaped it for his amusement.Guest Star: Dennis Franz as himself
06|10|2F07|12/04/94|Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy|When Homer and Marge's sex life fizzles out, Grandpa whips up a batch of bottledpassion for Homer. The home remedy proves an amazing success and after a marathonsnuggle session with Marge, Homer convinces his father to try and sell the potion.Hitting the open road, Homer and Grandpa rake in the bucks and bond like theyhave never before. But when they find themselves driving by the house whereHomer grew up, the old resentment and hostility bubbles up between them. Aftermuch fighting and many angry proclamations, Homer and Grandpa make up.
06|11|2F08|12/18/94|Fear of Flying|When Marge has an even more disturbing experience than usual on an airplane, she must confront her debilitating fear of flying. Consulting a soft-spoken psychoanalyst named Dr. Zweig, Marge begins to get to the roots of her anxiety. In therapy, it turns out that Marge's father lied throughout her entire childhood, telling her he was a pilot when he was actually an airline steward. If that wasn't traumatizing enough, little Marge was also shot at by a crop duster and survived a near-fatal fire on an airplane riding toy. During one of Marge's therapy sessions, Homer tries to get a drink at a new bar in town called Cheers, but decides it's not the place for him since no one is glad he came. After her breakthrough, Marge is able to fly without fear. She bids farewell to Dr. Zweig and takes off for a happier, healthier future.  Guest Stars: Anne Bancroft as Dr. Zweig; Ted Danson as Sam; Woody Harrelson as Woody; Rhea Pearlman as Carla; John Ratzenberger as Cliff; George Wendt as Norm
06|12|2F09|1/08/95|Homer the Great|When Homer begins to notice Lenny and Carl acting strangely, he trails them and discovers that they are members of The Stonecutters, a secret organization. Homer wants to join but he can't unless he's the son of a member. Luckily, Grampa is a Stonecutter (and a member of the Black Panthers) so Homer's membership is a shoo-in. Once on the inside, Homer discovers that the Stonecutters are a rigidly hierarchical group--he is given a number instead of a name, and must work his way up the ladder. But when Number One, the Stonecutters' leader, spies a mark on Homer's butt, he is anointed the Chosen One. As Supreme Head of the Stonecutters, Homer foolishly turns a once-great secret organization into a laughingstock. His followers rebel and start a new secret club, The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers.  Guest Star: Patrick Stewart as Number One.
06|13|2F10|1/22/95|And Maggie Makes Three|The story of the youngest Simpson's early year is finally told. Shortly beforeMaggie is born, Homer quits the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant to pursue hisdream of working at a bowling alley. But when Marge reveals that she is pregnant,Homer must return to the plant and beg for his job back. The only thing thatgets him through those long days as a safety inspector are the photos of hisbeautiful new baby girl that he hangs over his console.
06|14|2F11|2/05/95|Bart's Comet|When Bart is forced to assist Principal Skinner during a long night of astronomy, he discovers what appears to be a giant comet heading towards Springfield. A call to the astronomers at the observatory confirms that a comet is indeed hurtling towards Springfield at an alarming rate, and will more than likely kill all of the town's residents when it crashes. Scientists fail in their efforts to throw the comet off course and the entire town goes hysterical as the flaming ball continues along its course of destruction. Luckily for everyone, Ned Flanders has enough room in his family's bomb shelter for most of the town, but when the quarters become too cramped, one person must be expelled and risk being killed by the comet. Who will it be and what will happen to him or her once the comet crashes?
06|15|2F12|2/12/95|Homie the Clown|Krusty the Clown's accountants reveal that the entertainer is flat broke despitehis successful show and his many lucrative endorsement deals. The only wayfor him to get out of the hole financially is to open his own clown collegeand train students to perform as Krusty at restaurant openings and privateparties. Fed up with job and his life, Homer decides to enroll in clown collegeand learns the fine arts of squirting flowers and mini-bicycle riding. Aftermuch preparation, Homer graduates with a Krusty degree and goes on to performas the clown at various functions. As Krusty, Homer attracts the attentionof Fat Tony and his mafia buddies who are after the real Krusty for his gamblingdebts. There's no way for Homer to convince the toughs that he's not really Krusty, especially when Krusty himself arrives on the scene to confuse thingseven more. Both clowns then must perform a potentially lethal, one-of-a-kindtrick in order to prove who's the authentic Krusty.Guest Stars: Dick Cavett as himself; Johnny Unitas as himself; Joe Mantegnaas Fat Tony
06|16|2F13|2/19/95|Bart vs. Australia|After a prank phone call to Australia goes awry, Bart and his entire familymust fly out to the land down under and apologize to the Australian people.Once there, Evan Conover, the Undersecretary of State for International Protocol,Brat and Punk Division, tells the Simpsons that in Australia, the only acceptableapology is for the guilty party to receive a swift kick in the pants fromthe Prime Minister. Appalled by such savagery, Homer refuses to allow theAustralians to "boot" his son, further fraying already tenuous Australio-Americanrelations. Trapped in the American embassy, surrounded on all sides by enragedAustralians polishing their booting boots, Bart decides to accept his punishmentthe only way he knows how: He pulls down his pants and moons the Australianswith the words "Don't Tread on Me" written on his butt. The Simpsonsescape the embassy with the Australians in hot pursuit and make it back toAmerica, where freedom to pull pranks is a Constitutional right.
06|17|2F14|2/26/95|Homer vs. Patty and Selma|Foolishly, Homer pulls all of his stock out of Pumpkin futures just beforethe pre-Halloween boom in the Pumpkin market. Broke and dejected, he is reducedto taking a loan from his sisters-in-law, Patty and Selma. Clearly relishingHomer's degradation, Patty and Selma make him their slave. Meanwhile, Bartis forced to take ballet lessons. Homer waits on Patty and Selma hand andfoot until he admits to Marge that he lost all of the family's money and neededto take a loan. To make ends meet, Homer becomes a limousine driver but needsto go to the DMV to get the proper license. While there, Patty and Selma arenearly fired for smoking on the job, but Homer steps in and saves the dayby claiming that he was smoking. Their jobs saved, Patty and Selma forgetHomer's debt to them. As a result of his lessons, Bart has grown to love balletand isn't ashamed to admit it even when a gang of bullies accuses him of beinga sissy.Guest Star: Susan Sarandon as the ballet teacher
06|18|2F31|3/5/95|A Star is Burns|Springfield plays host to a film festival in which various townspeople displaytheir original work. Barney presents "Pukahontas," a haunting meditationon his alcoholism; Apu directs "Bright Lights, Beef Jerky," thetale of a lonely man working the loneliest shift in a small-town Kwik-E-Mart.Two other important entries are Mr. Burns' autobiographical "A Burnsfor All Seasons" and Hans Moleman's "Man Getting Hit by Football."Despite receiving bribes from Mr. Burns, the judges choose to honor "Pukahontas"as the festival's best film. Luckily for Moleman, his film is remade as "Footballin the Groin," a star vehicle for George C. Scott, and wins an Oscarfor Best Picture.
06|19|2F15|3/26/95|Lisa's Wedding|At the Renaissance Faire, Lisa wanders into the fortune teller's booth andhas her entire future laid bare. She sees herself in the year 2010, attendingHarvard and falling in love with a British student named Hugh Parkfield. Hughasks Lisa to marry him, and as their wedding approaches Lisa worries thather family--in particular, her father and brother--will embarrass her in frontof her new husband and his upper-crust parents. After a series of embarrassinginterludes, Lisa comes to understand that, even though they may not be classy,polite, or sanitary, Homer, Bart, Marge and a now teenage Maggie are her familyand she loves them.Guest Star: Mandy Patinkin as Hugh Parkfield
06|20|2F18|4/9/95|Two Dozen and One Greyhounds|Santa's Little Helper finds a greyhound girlfriend and becomes the father ofa huge litter of yelping puppies. Even though the puppies are cute and lovable,the Simpsons are forced to give them away. Enter Mr. Burns, who agrees to takethe litter, secretly scheming to use their pelts to make a fur tuxedo. WhenBart and Lisa discover Burns' true intentions, they break into the old man'smansion and try to rescue the puppies. After a confrontation with Burns andSmithers, Bart and Lisa convince them that the puppies should be spared andMr. Burns agrees. Instead of using their fur for clothing, the old man turnsthem into racing dogs and makes millions of dollars.
06|21|2F19|4/16/95|The PTA Disbands|When the teachers' union reaches a dead end in its negotiations with PrincipalSkinner, the teachers strike, forcing the Board of Education to come up witha creative way to keep the school running. The only plan that's in place isto have highly intelligent robots teach classes, but since such robots don'texist, the Board enlists PTA members for the task. With Ned Flanders as Principaland Marge as a teacher, the school functions normally, for a time. Bart realizesthat without his old teachers, school just doesn't work for him, so he devisesa way to bring the teachers' union and Principal Skinner back to the negotiatingtable: He locks Mrs. Krabappel and Skinner in a room together until they canagree on the contract.
06|22|2F32|4/30/95|Round Springfield|Lisa is reunited with her idol, Bleeding Gums Murphy, but their time togetheris short lived when the jazz legend passes away. Heartbroken, Lisa wants togive him a proper tribute, but to do so, she needs to buy his rare album,Sax on the Beach, so she can play it on the local jazz radio station. Bartlends her enough money to buy the record and Lisa plays the record on theair. Speaking to Lisa from heaven, Bleeding Gums tells her what a great musicianshe is and they jam together one last time before he goes to the big jazzclub in the sky.Guest Stars: Steve Allen as himself; Ron Taylor as Bleeding Gums Murphy
06|23|2F21|5/07/95|The Springfield Connection|After she helps catch a petty criminal, Marge decides that her calling in lifeis to become a police officer. As a member of the Springfield Police Department,Marge experiences feelings of power and authority that she's never known before.Homer, on the other hand, is resentful of his wife's new job and takes the opportunityto flaunt the law. Marge is forced to arrest him. Once released, Homer playsa routine game of poker with his pals, but one of the players, Herman, is hidingcriminal activities that Marge is forced to bust. When Marge realizes that Hermanwill be let off by crooked cops, she resigns from the police department andreturns to her normal life.
06|24|2F22|5/14/95|Lemon of Troy|The simmering rivalry between Springfield and its neighboring town, Shelbyville,heats up when a group of kids from Shelbyville steal Springfield's prized lemontree. It's up the youngest Springfieldians to cross over the town line and reclaimwhat is theirs. During the mission to get the tree, Bart develops a particularlyintense rivalry with Shelby, the leader of the Shelbyville posse. The two squareoff and the Springfield kids, with the help of their parents and a stolen RV,manage to get the tree back.
06|25|2F16|5/21/95|Who Shot Mr. Burns (Part One)|In the first part of this groundbreaking suspense story, Mr. Burns developsa sun-blocking machine that prevents any sunlight from reaching Springfield.With the town immersed in darkness, Mr. Burns' Power Plant can make even moremoney. In addition to blocking the sun, Burns has also deprived the schoolof its funds, broken Santa's Little Helper's leg, and alienated nearly allof his fellow townspeople. When he winds up shot, everyone, including themembers of the Simpson family, is a suspect. All will be revealed in the secondpart, but only after a cliff hanger so steep, an entire nation will be hangingon the edge of its seats.Guest Star: Tito Puente as himself
07|01|2F20|5/17/95|Who Shot Mr. Burns|An entire nation tunes in with rapt attention as Mr. Burns' assailant is finallyrevealed. At first, all signs point to Smithers, and Burns' right-hand manconfesses when confronted by the police. But new evidence emerges that clearsSmithers, and Homer Simpson becomes the main suspect. Based on DNA evidenceand a lack of alibi, Homer is detained by police. He escapes custody, however,and rushes to the hospital, intending to get revenge on his boss for not rememberinghis name. At the hospital, with members of the Springfield Police Department,the Simpsons, and various townspeople standing by Burns' bed, the true shooteris revealed. Burns points into the crowd and gasps as he recalls that MaggieSimpson shot him after a tug-of-war over a lollypop. Since Maggie cannot betried as an adult (or even a child), no charges are brought and she is freeto live out her life as a cold-blooded would-be assassin.Guest Star: Tito Puente as himself
07|02|2F17|9/24/95|Radioactive Man|When Springfield is chosen as the shooting location for Rainier Wolfcastle'sbig-screen adaptation of the popular Radioactive Man comic series, the entiretown tries to take the movie's producers for every dime they've got. Childrenfrom Springfield Elementary are invited to audition for the role of RadioactiveMan's sidekick, Fallout Boy. Bart tries his hardest to land the role, butthe producers select Milhouse, who is initially excited about his new gig,but soon grows disenchanted with the movie-making process. After numerousproduction snafus and time-consuming re-shoots, Milhouse flees the set andgoes into hiding. In addition to the loss of one of their stars, the financialburden of shooting in Springfield proves too much for the filmmakers, andthey abandon the production altogether.Guest Star: Mickey Rooney as himself
07|03|3F02|10/08/95|Bart Sells His Soul|Bart decides to sell his soul to Milhouse for five dollars. Meanwhile, Moetransforms his dank, depressing Tavern into a family restaurant called UncleMoe's Family Feedbag. When he stops finding Itchy & Scratchy funny andcan no longer activate the automatic doors at the Kwik-E-Mart, Bart realizesthat he really has lost his soul. Determined to recover it, he tracks Milhousedown at his grandmother's apartment and begs for his soul back. Milhouse tellsBart that it's too late, because he has already traded the soul for a handfulof Alf Pogs. Over at the restaurant, Moe is exhausted by the constant smiling,good will and hospitality necessary to meet the demands of his new customers.Bart waits all night outside the comic book store to buy his soul back, onlyto learn that it has already been purchased. Depressed, Bart goes home andprays for the return of his soul. Just then, it is given back to him--by Lisa,who bought it the day before.
07|04|3F01|10/01/95|Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily|When Bart is sent home from school with head lice and Lisa loses her shoes,Marge and Homer are accused of being negligent parents and their kids aretaken away by the bureaucratic do-gooders at the Child Protection Agency.As (bad) luck would have it, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are placed in the fostercare of the Flanders family. While their kids must endure 5 PM bedtimes, Flanders-stylenachos, and endless games of Biblical Bombardment, Homer and Marge must attenda special class for bad parents. Ned treats Bart, Lisa and especially Maggiewith love and kindness, until he discovers that none of them have been baptized.After a fainting jag, Ned shores up the energy and the righteousness to baptizethe kids himself. As Ned leads his new flock to the edge of the river fortheir baptisms, Homer and Marge, newly graduated from bad parent school, rushto the scene to stop him. Homer sees what is about to happen and dives intothe river to prevent Ned from pouring Holy Water on Bart. When the Holy Waterhits Homer, it burns his flesh and bubbles up. Bart, however, is saved fromsalvation and the Simpson family is reunited.
07|05|3F03|10/15/95|Lisa the Vegetarian|Lisa realizes that it's wrong to eat animals after a long petting sessionwith a baby lamb at a local zoo. Swearing off meat turns out to be a controversialdecision for Lisa, since everyone around her seems to support the eating offlesh. At school, Lisa must sit through a politically slanted pro-meat filmand eat only hotdog buns for lunch; at home, she has to put up with Homer'splans for a meaty barbecue party. After fighting about her beliefs with herfamily, Lisa runs away to the Kwik-E-Mart, where she discovers a kindred spiritin Apu, who is not only a strict vegetarian, but a vegan as well. Lisa alsomeets two other vegetarians, Paul and Linda McCartney, who explain that whileit's important to stick to her convictions about vegetarianism, she must alsotolerate the beliefs of others. Knowing that Paul and Linda are right, Lisamakes up with Homer and they accept each other's different points of view.Guest Stars: Paul and Linda McCartney as themselves
07|06|3F04|10/30/95|Treehouse of Horror VI|In this year's blood-chilling blockbuster boo-fest, the Simpsons celebrateHalloween with three visions of terror. First, Springfield is destroyed bya band of angry, marauding billboard icons. The Lard Lad, Professor Peanut,and the Duff Cowboy escape their billboards and crush everything in sightuntil guest star Paul Anka saves the day with a catchy jingle. In the secondsegment, Groundskeeper Willie picks off the students of Springfield Elementaryone-by-one. In a flashback, we learn that Willie was accidentally murderedby the kids' parents, and plans to kill the children in their dreams for revenge.It's up to Bart, Lisa, and a quick-thinking baby Maggie to fight him in dreamland.In the third segment, Homer steps into an alternate dimension, where he becomesa 3-D rendering. He finds that he's trapped in the digital world and all theattempts to save him by Professor Frink, Chief Wiggum and Ned Flanders areuseless. Once again, it falls to Bart to save the day, but he fails when thedigital universe implodes, sending Homer into an even scarier world: ours.Guest Star: Paul Anka as himself
07|07|3F05|11/05/95|King-Size Homer|Sick of the workaday grind at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Homer comesup with a scheme to gain enough weight to be classified as disabled, therebyearning the right to work from home. With a target weight of 300 pounds inmind, he eats everything in site, including Maggie's Play-Doh. Fat as a tick,Homer is granted his wish to work from home, but it's not all he thought itwould be when he finds that he's too fat to stop an imminent disaster in theplant's reactor core. The only thing big enough to stop the explosion is Homer'senormous body, which he manages to wedge into an exploding tank. Having savedthe plant and the town, he is rewarded for his efforts with a free liposuctioncourtesy of Mr. Burns.
07|08|3F06|11/19/95|Mother Simpson|Homer's long-lost mother returns to the Simpson family. After some initialpleasantries, Bart and Lisa suspect that something's fishy about their newgrandmother. It turns out that Mother Simpson is a fugitive from the law andhas spent the last quarter century in hiding. In a flashback, we learn thatwhen Homer was a small child, his mother fell in with a band of radical hippieswho planted an antibiotic bomb in the germ warfare development lab of SpringfieldState University. Guarding the lab at the time was a young campus securityguard named Clancy Wiggum. The lab was run by a younger (but by no means young)man named Monty Burns. Ever since the antibiotic bomb attack, Burns and Wiggumhave been on the lookout for Mother Simpson. Realizing that it wasn't sucha good idea to emerge from the underground, Mother Simpson bids her son andhis family good-bye and returns to her secret life.Guest Star: Glenn Close as Mother Simpson
07|09|3F08|11/26/95|Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming|Lax prison security makes it possible for Sideshow Bob to escape from prisonyet again. This time, however, he's less interested in killing Bart Simpsonas he is in knocking out Springfield's television stations, since he's grownto detest TV so much while in prison. Bob sneaks onto the Springfield airbase on the day of the big air show, commandeers an atom bomb, and threatensto blow-up the crowd if the mayor doesn't end all TV broadcasts. When thebomb fails to explode, Bob returns to an older, more familiar plan and kidnapsBart. That plan is also foiled and Bob returns to prison, again.Guest star: R. Lee Ermey as Colonel Leslie "Hap" Hapablap
07|10|3F31|12/03/95|The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular|To celebrate the momentous 138th episode of The Simpsons, Troy McClure hostsa retrospective of classic moments and never-before-seen outtakes. As a rewardto the show's loyal viewers, a number of long-unanswered questions, like "What'sthe deal with Mr. Smithers?" are finally addressed, sort of. Also answeredis the question, "Who are Matt Groening and James L. Brooks?" As the138th episode spectacular makes clear, Groening is an America-Firster with anitchy trigger finger and Brooks is the lovable Mr. Moneybags from Monopoly.
07|11|3F07|12/17/95|Marge Be Not Proud|Bart wants a new video game called "Bonestorm" more than anythingin the world. When Marge won't buy it for him and Milhouse won't let him playwith his copy, Bart steals one from the Try-N-Save department store. Bartis caught in the act by Detective Don Brodka, a tough-talking store securityguard who calls Marge and Homer and shows them the tape of Bart in action.After the incident, Marge doesn't punish Bart, but she does ignore him a bit.Bart realizes that Marge is extremely disappointed in him and tries to makeit up to her. He finally does and the family is happily reunited.Guest Star: Lawrence Tierney as Detective Don Brodka
07|12|3F10|1/06/96|Team Homer|Homer forms the Pin Pals, a bowling team made up of Moe, Apu and Otto, butthe team has to cut Otto when Mr. Burns muscles in and insists on joining.Meanwhile, Principal Skinner implements a school-wide dress code when Bartshows up to school in a MAD Magazine T-shirt. The Pin Pals take on the HolyRollers (Ned and Maude Flanders, Reverend and Mrs. Lovejoy) and other teamsuntil they're in the finals. Even though he's no longer on the team, Ottomanages to help the Pin Pals win the tournament. Getting caught in the rain,the children of Springfield Elementary School discover that their new schooluniforms are not color-fast, and are amused by the wild colors their clothesmake when wet.
07|13|3F09|1/14/96|Two Bad Neighbors|Former President George Herbert Walker Bush becomes the newest resident ofEvergreen Terrace, moving with his wife Barbara into the large house acrossthe street from the Simpsons. Everyone in the neighborhood is excited to havethe Bushes in Springfield, but Homer and Bart get off on the wrong foot withthe former Chief Executive. In a decidedly non-wimp act, Bush spanks Bartafter the boy destroys his memoirs, and from that moment on it's war betweenHomer and Bush. A series of escalating pranks leads to a fist-fight betweenthe two men. George decides that Springfield is not the place for him to liveout his golden years and hightails it away with Barbara. In his place, formerPresident Gerald Ford moves in and becomes fast friends with Homer.
07|14|3F11|2/04/96|07|After a chance encounter with an old high school acquaintance, Marge findsherself and her family invited to an ultra-exclusive country club. Marge worriesabout her social standing when some snobs at the country club notice she'sbeen wearing the same highly-discounted Chanel dress every day. Homer andthe kids adjust to club life a lot better: Homer discovers that he's a golfprodigy and Lisa is in horse heaven. On the night of the Simpson family'sformal acceptance to the club, Marge's social anxiety reaches a fever pitchand she scolds her family for being less cultured and refined than the membersof the club. In the midst her breakdown, however, Marge has a moment of clarityand realizes she was wrong to have such overwhelming feelings of insecurity.The Simpson family rejects club membership and celebrates their togethernessover cheeseburgers and fries at the Krusty Burger.Guest star: Tom Kite as himself
07|15|3F12|2/11/96|Bart the Fink|Bart messes with Krusty the Clown's life yet again, this time getting hisidol busted for tax fraud. An audit reveals that Krusty is one of the worstscofflaws in history and the IRS seizes all his assets and sells them at auction.In the throes of financial despair, Krusty crashes his plane, The I'm-On-A-Roll-A-Gay,into a mountain, killing himself. While mourning Krusty's death, Bart andLisa start getting the sneaky suspicion that the clown actually faked hisown death to avoid the taxman. After tracking down Rory B. Bellows, the manthey suspect is Krusty, their suspicions are confirmed. Krusty did fake hisown death, and now he will fake the death of Rory B. Bellows, whose life isensured for millions and signed over to Krusty. With his new inheritance,Krusty can start his life over and return to showbiz.Guest star: Bob Newhart as himself
07|16|3F13|2/18/96|Lisa the Iconoclast|A noble spirit possesses the people of Springfield as they prepare for thetown's bicentennial celebration. Always the iconoclast, Lisa discovers somenew data about Jebediah Springfield, the town's legendary founder, that shefeels she must share with everyone. According to Lisa's research, the saintlyJebediah was actually Hans Sprungfeld, a murderous pirate who tried to killGeorge Washington. Lisa confronts Hollis Hurlbut, the President of the SpringfieldHistorical Society, with her findings, but Hurlbut sends her packing and bansher from his museum for three months. Lisa, with Homer's help, convinces MayorQuimby to dig up the body of Jebediah Springfield to prove that he's not thesame man as Sprungfeld. Quimby agrees, but when the body is exhumed, HollisHurlbut quickly steals the evidence so that no one believes Lisa. Later, Lisafinds out for sure that Hurlbut hid the evidence, but she allows the peopleof Springfield to go on celebrating Jebediah anyway, since the great man'slegacy is more important than the actual facts of his life.Guest star: Donald Sutherland as Hollis Hurlbut
07|17|3F14|2/25/96|Homer The Smithers|Mr. Burns' assistant, Waylon Smithers, nearly works himself into a nervousbreakdown and is forced to go on a vacation. Fearing that whoever fills infor him in his absence might replace him permanently, Smithers places HomerSimpson in the job, figuring that there's no way the plant's worst employeecould possibly be a threat. Homer approaches the job with enthusiasm, butfinds that much of his day is taken up with being insulted by Mr. Burns. Finally,one day Homer snaps and punches Burns square in the face. To everyone's surprise,the punch actually whacks some decency and humility into Burns. When Smithersreturns from his vacation, he finds that his worst fear has come true: Burnsno longer needs him. Together Homer and Smithers concoct a plan to prove howvaluable Smithers is to Burns, but when the plan backfires, Smithers and Homerget into a vicious fight and accidentally send their boss flying out the window.Later, while laid-up in bed with broken bones, Burns rehires Smithers as hisassistant and Smithers sends the Simpson family a fruit basket to thank Homerfor saving his job.
07|18|3F15|3/24/96|A Fish Called Selma|After a series of sordid tabloid scandals involving marine life, Troy McClure(whom you might remember from such films as The Muppets Go Medievaland P is for Psycho) needs some quick damage control. MacArthur Parker,Troy's agent, recommends he appear to in public as normal as possible. EnterSelma Bouvier, who is the perfect beard to cover up McClure's unsavory press.As Troy and Selma begin dating, the actor's public image rises considerablyand he lands such highly coveted roles as The Human in the musical productionof The Planet of the Apes. His star on the rise, Troy and Selma getmarried. Shortly after the nuptials, Selma begins to have second thoughtswhen Troy insists they have a baby for all the good publicity it will bringhim. Selma ends the charade then and there and returns to her normal life.Troy, presumably, returns to the aquarium.Guest Star: Jeff Goldblum as MacArthur Parker
07|19|3F16|3/17/96|The Day the Violence Died|The Itchy & Scratchy Show generates controversy yet again whenBart and Lisa befriend Chester J. Lampwick, a homeless man who claims to haveinvented the cartoon cat and mouse, only to have his idea stolen by RogerMeyers, Sr. back in 1919. With Bart and Lisa's help, Chester enlists LionelHutz and sues Roger Meyers, Jr. for $800 million and wins. Itchy & ScratchyStudios is shut down, and Chester gets to live the life every bum dreams aboutwhen he buys a solid gold house. With Itchy & Scratchy off the air, Lisaand Bart have to endure incredibly boring cartoons until two smart kids, Lesterand Eliza (who look surprisingly like Bart and Lisa) figure out a way to saveItchy & Scratchy.Guest Stars: Kirk Douglas as Chester J. Lampwick; Susanne Somers areherself; Jack Sheldon as The Amendment
07|20|3F17|5/31/96|Bart on the Road|A day spent with Aunts Patty and Selma at the DMV leads to a fake ID for Bartand a cross-country road trip for his friends. With Bart's sparkling new driver'slicense and $600 Martin Prince made in the stock market, Bart, Martin, Milhouseand Nelson rent a car and hit the open road. Their plan is check out the World'sFair in Knoxville, Tennessee, but when the kids get there, they discover thatthe fair ended about 14 years earlier. While Bart and the boys are away, Lisabegins spending a lot of bonding time with Homer, even having sleepovers atthe Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. After Bart's rental car is destroyed,the boys are trapped in Knoxville. Only Lisa can save the day, but she needsto enlist the help of her new best buddy, Homer, to get them back home .
07|21|3F18|4/14/96|22 Short Films About Springfield|In this breakneck tour through a day in the life of Springfield, we learnthat a lot goes on in a little town in some state, somewhere in America. Aputakes the day off from the Kwik-E-Mart and has a kwik-e-romance. Barney finallypays Moe his bar tab only to witness Snake steal it. Principal Skinner nearlyburns down his house while making lunch for Superintendent Chalmers, and Homergets Maggie stuck in a newspaper vending machine. Lisa gets gum--and mayonnaise,and peanut butter--stuck in her hair, and Smithers almost dies from a beesting. In a nod to Pulp Fiction, Snake and Chief Wiggum are taken hostageby Herman, the one-armed pawnshop owner, who wants to do god-knows-what. Thetwo men are saved by Milhouse, who had to go to the bathroom really, reallybadly.
07|22|3F19|4/28/96|07|After Grandpa's old army buddy passes away, the biggest secret in old Abe'slife is revealed. During the Second World War, he was a member of the FlyingHellfish, a platoon that included Mr. Burns and several other men. Seizinga Nazi mansion, the Hellfish stole some priceless paintings and locked themaway. The agreed that only the last living Hellfish would get to call thestash his own. The only problem is, Grandpa and Mr. Burns are both still alive,and Mr. Burns would like to have the paintings now. Grandpa, with some helpfrom Bart, escapes Burns' attempts on his life and finds the hidden paintingson his own. A violent confrontation with Burns ensues, but the paintings don'tgo to either aging Hellfish. Representatives from the government break upthe fight and give the prized paintings to an obnoxious German guy who isthe grandson of the works' original owner.
07|23|3F20|5/05/96|Much Apu About Nothing|When Proposition 24, an anti-immigrant law, is put into effect, Apu risks beingdeported as an illegal alien. All of Apu's attempts to get fake papers and Americanizehimself fail and it's up to Homer to help his loyal Kwik-E-Mart counterman passhis naturalization exam. An all-night cram session ensues, but when Apu takeshis test, he proves to be too smart to be an American. Luckily, though, he passes,and is allowed to stay in Springfield. That's more than we can say for GroundskeeperWillie, who is deported, kicking and screaming, back to Scotland.
07|24|3F21|5/19/96|Homerpalooza|Homer gets grungy when he becomes a sideshow performer at Hullabalooza, analternative rock festival that features Sonic Youth, Smashing Pumpkins, CypressHill and, uh, Peter Frampton. Homer's performance consists of using his enormousgut as a target for cannonballs, which makes him a huge hit with the piercedand tattooed Hullabalooza crowd. It also gains him the respect of his kids,who finally think that their dad is cool. When a doctor tells Homer that heis causing permanent damage to his internal organs, Homer must decide betweenhis newfound acclaim as a sideshow freak or long-term health. Luckily forall, Homer chooses the latter, and leaves the life-threatening stunt to someoneelse.Guest Stars: Sonic Youth as themselves; Smashing Pumpkins as themselves;Cypress Hill as themselves; Peter Frampton as himself
07|25|3F22|5/19/96|Summer of 4 ft. 2|When her family goes away to a beach house for the weekend, Lisa decides totransform herself into a new, cooler person. Her first step is abandoningher old, dorky clothes in favor of tricked-out threads. She also hides heregg-headed impulses by dumbing-down her vocabulary and pretending she doesn'tread books anymore. Soon, Lisa befriends Erin, a cool but disaffected localkid, and her friends. Lisa's transformation is complete: she is popular. Ofcourse, Bart is seething with jealousy and comes up with a plan to ruin hissister's popularity. Bart shows Erin and her friends Lisa's elementary schoolyearbook to prove what a good student and a goody-goody his sister reallyis. Bart's plan backfires, however, when Lisa's new friends turn out to likeher anyway, even if she is a nerd.Guest Star: Christina Ricci as Erin
08|01|4F02|10/27/96|Treehouse of Horror VII|In this year's spooky series of Halloween stories, Bart discovers that he has a special new sibling, Lisa discovers that she is a God to a race of tiny people, and the American people discover that Bill Clinton and Bob Dole are actually aliens Kang and Kodos. In the first segment, Bart investigates noises from the attic and learns that his formerly conjoined twin, Hugo, is locked up there. Hugo is a wild, fish head-eating savage who was locked away because Dr. Hibbert determined that he was evil at birth. When Hugo captures Bart and tries to sew himself back together with his brother, it's up to the doctor to save the good twin. But can he tell for sure which is which? In the second tale, Lisa generates microscopic life inside a plastic tub that quickly evolves into a full-blown species of tiny humans. The tiny people consider Lisa their God. In the final story, Kang and Kodos beam Homer aboard the spacecraft and ask him who the President is. Homer thinks it might be Bill Clinton…or is it Bob Dole? Kang and Kodos beam Clinton and Dole aboard, assume the identities, and both run for President. Homer makes it his mission to expose the two false candidates.
08|02|3F23|11/03/96|You Only Move Twice|A charismatic yet secretive businessman named Hank Scorpio enlists Homer to work for Globex Corporation. Homer likes Scorpio's casual, laid-back management style and accepts the job, moving his family to Cypress Creek, where Globex is located. As Homer learns the ropes of his new job, life in Cypress Creek for Marge is so uneventful that she takes to drink to pass the day. Bart and Lisa are having a tough time as well: Lisa is allergic to nearly all the plants in the nearby forest and Bart is placed in a special class for slow kids in his new school. Homer is still convinced that Cypress Creek is the place for him and that Hank Scorpio is the boss of his dreams. But when Homer discovers that the Globex Corporation is seeking world domination and that Scorpio is actually a super-villain straight of out a James Bond film, he starts to have some small reservations. After discussing it with Marge and the kids, Homer and his family pack up and move back to Springfield while Hank Scorpio takes control of the entire East Coast.Guest Star: Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio	
08|03|4F03|11/10/96|The Homer They Fall|Homer becomes a boxer and Moe serves as his manager. Even though Homer doesn't have any combinations or footwork to speak of, he can withstand even the most powerful blows to his head and remain standing. Homer fights his way up through the professional ranks and soon agrees to fight a client of Lucius Sweet, a flamboyant boxing promoter with upstanding hair and a taste for flashy jewelry. Drederick Tatum, the boxer Homer is to fight, is the Heavyweight Champ, who will without a doubt pound Homer into a bloody pulp. Marge begs Moe to save Homer if the fight gets too rough, but whether or not Moe has the presence of mind to do so is up in the air.Guest Stars: Paul Winfield as Lucius Sweet; Michael Buffer as himself	
08|04|4F05|11/17/96|Burns, Baby Burns|Mr. Burns' long-lost illegitimate son, Larry, shows up and wants just a little "respect." Mr. Burns initially welcomes Larry, but rejects his son when he turns out to be a total idiot. Larry befriends Homer and the two concoct a plan to "kidnap" Larry and demand a ransom from Burns. Marge begs them to abandon the plan and even though they do, Burns still rejects his son, who returns to wherever it is he came from.Guest Star: Rodney Dangerfield as Larry Burns
08|05|4F06|11/24/96|Bart After Dark|When Bart stumbles into a burlesque theater tucked away in a creepy old mansion, he begins working there as a doorman and eventually an MC. From his perch at the front of the Maison Derriere, Bart sees everyone from Principal Skinner to his own grandpa coming in for the girls and drinks. But when a group of angry townspeople discover that there's a house of sin in Springfield, they try to shut it down. At a town meeting, the group becomes a frenzied mob that tries to raze the house with trucks and sledgehammers. But when the showgirls, with a little help from Homer, Mayor Quimby, and others, sing a catchy tune about why the place should stay open, the mob backs off.
08|06|4F04|12/01/96|A Milhouse Divided|In a move that will surely cause even more psychological damage for their son Milhouse, Kirk and Luann Van Houten split up in a messy, public way. Each Van Houten deals with the breakup differently: Luann begins dating an American Gladiator named Pyro while Kirk kicks off a new career a singer, self-producing an album called "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" Milhouse, for his part, takes his parents' break-up in stride and loses his mind even more than before. Meanwhile, Homer starts panicking that Marge might one day want to divorce him. To prevent that from ever happening, he files for divorce first and then remarries her in a surprisingly romantic ceremony. Sadly, there's no such happy ending for the Van Houtens, who remain divorced.
08|07|4F01|12/15/96|Lisa's Date With Density|Lisa develops a crush on bully Nelson Muntz. Even though she seems to know that Nelson can never really change his naughty ways, Lisa thinks she can help him be a better person. She tries her best, but Nelson's thug friends Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney lead him astray yet again. Nelson gets busted for throwing cole slaw at Principal Skinner's house, but the bully tells Lisa he was framed. Lisa believes him at first, but stops liking him when she realizes he lied to her.
08|08|4F07|12/29/96|Hurricane Neddy|God tests Ned Flanders and Ned Flanders fails. When a hurricane wipes out the Flanders' house, Ned and Maude and the kids have to move into a homeless shelter. At the same time, his store, the Leftorium, is looted. Joining together to help their needy neighbors, the people of Springfield, led by Homer, rebuild Flanders' house. But when the house isn't all Ned hoped it would be, he freaks out and verbally assaults everyone in town from Homer to Lisa to Krusty the Clown. After his outburst, Ned enters a mental hospital where he is reacquainted with Dr. Foster, the child psychologist who "cured" him of his anger problems when he was a boy. In a flashback, we see Dr. Foster administering a then-radical form of spank therapy to young Neddy. In the present, the good doctor tries to help Ned get in touch with his anger again to cure him.
08|09|3F24|1/05/97|El Viaje de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)|At the annual Springfield Chili Cook-Off, Homer eats super-spicy chili made with a dangerous Guatemalan pepper grown by mental patients. The pepper has a powerful hallucinogenic effect and Homer wanders off into the darkest, strangest regions of his mind. Guided by a talking coyote, he goes on a voyage of self-discovery and realizes that he must find his soul mate. When he emerges from his fantastic trip, he returns home to Marge, who is furious at him for disappearing. Marge yells at Homer and tells him that she is not his soul mate, which sends Homer on another voyage to find out who is. Is Barney Homer's soul mate? Is Moe? Is some guy who placed a personal ad? Homer wanders the streets of Springfield, eventually winding up at the lighthouse at the edge of town, under the impression that the lighthouse keeper is his soul mate. Ascending the stairs to the top of the lighthouse, Homer discovers that the lighthouse is operated by a computer. Enraged, Homer shatters the lighthouse's giant light. As a giant barge approaches, Marge arrives on the scene and helps Homer save the boat. She then tells Homer that of course she's his soul mate.Guest Star: Johnny Cash as Coyote	
08|10|3G01|1/12/97|The Springfield Files|Leonard Nimoy presents the strange tale of Homer Simpson's close encounter with an extraterrestrial being. One night after drinking a few too many at Moe's, Homer sees a bald, glowing, big-eyed creature that tells him not to be afraid. Homer tells everyone that the creature is an alien. Marge and the kids tell Homer that he was drinking too much and that there was no alien. A story in the Springfield Shopper about Homer's close encounter brings FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully to Springfield to investigate. After some routine tests, the agents come up with nothing and leave empty-handed. It's up to Homer and Bart to find proof of the alien's presence themselves. Armed with video footage, Bart and Homer convince the entire town that there is an alien among them. But when everybody turns out to see it, Smithers reveals that the glowing creature is actually Mr. Burns, who is undergoing a series of experimental life-extending medical treatments.Guest Stars: Leonard Nimoy as himself; David Duchovny as Fox Mulder; Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully	
08|11|4F08|1/19/97|The Twisted World of Marge Simpson|When Marge tries to start her own business, she finds herself involved with Fat Tony and his legitimate businessmen friends, who act as her silent partners. Marge tries to open a Pretzel Wagon franchise after meeting Frank Orman, The Pretzel Man, at a small business convention. The pretzel business is a bust until Homer enlists Fat Tony to lend Marge's business a little muscle--financial and otherwise. Marge's business takes off, but Fat Tony wants a fat cut of the profits. The only thing that can stop him from forcibly taking the money is the Japanese mafia, who come to Springfield and whup Tony and his buddies.Guest Stars: Jack Lemmon as Frank Ormand; Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony	
08|12|4F10|2/02/97|Mountain of Madness|The employees of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant head for the hills for a survival excursion. Homer gets paired with Mr. Burns and finds out that his tyrannical boss isn't such a bad guy. But when the two men are trapped by an avalanche, they slowly go mad with cabin fever and try to kill one another using imaginary snowmen armies. During the battle, they cause the cabin's propane tank to explode, sending them both hurtling out from under the snowdrift and back to safety.
08|13|3G03|2/07/97|Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala (Annoyed Grunt) cious|When her homemaking chores become too overwhelming, Marge's hair starts to fall out. To lighten her load, she hires a nanny for the kids. After some interviews with terrible applicants, Shary Bobbins arrives. The kids love Shary and her catchy little songs. Eventually, Shary changes the Simpsons' lives for the better, but the Simpsons, with their sloppy, selfish ways, have started to change Shary's life for the worse. Shary leaves the Simpson family and flies away on her magical umbrella--until she is sucked up into a jet engine and shredded into confetti.
08|14|4F12|2/09/97|The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show|To save the moribund Itchy & Scratchy Show, the producers do extensive market testing to determine exactly how to make the show funnier and more relevant to today's cartoon-watching audience. They decide that a new character, a crazy, hip-hop surfer dog named Poochie is just what the show needs. It falls on Homer Simpson to breathe life into Poochie by supplying him was a voice for his funky catchphrases. Poochie does not go over well with Itchy & Scratchy's fan base and Homer is heartbroken when he finds himself on the verge of being fired. As an act of defiance, Homer rewrites the lines of Poochie's final episode so that the character can live on, but the producers wind up re-cutting the show to kill the wisecracking dog off.Guest Star: Alex Rocco as Roger Meyers, Jr	
08|15|4F11|2/16/97|Homer's Phobia|The Simpson family befriends John, the owner of Cockamamie's collectible shop and a devoted collector of kitsch and Americana. Everyone takes to John, especially Bart, which makes Homer a bit nervous since John is openly gay. Fearing that John's sexual preference might rub off on his son, Homer tries to engage Bart in more manly pursuits. Homer, Moe and Barney take Bart hunting but wind up stuck in a reindeer stampede that nearly kills them. The only person who can save them is John, who has the decency to overlook Homer's prejudice and come to his rescue. Safe and sound, Homer thanks John profusely and says it's okay for Bart to be whoever he wants to be.Guest Star: John Waters as John	
08|16|4F14|2/23/97|Brother From Another Series|Once again, Sideshow Bob is released from Prison, on the condition that he is looked after by his brother, Cecil Terwilliger, an upstanding citizen and head of construction on the Springfield Hydroelectric Dam. Immediately upon Bob's release, Bart suspects that his old nemesis is up to no good, but can't find any proof. Bob tries to get his life together, taking a job on the dam project for Cecil. Their suspicion growing, Bart and Lisa snoop around the construction office and find a briefcase full of money. Just then, Bob catches them, but claims not to know the origin of the cash. It turns out that Cecil is the evil one, hatching his own plan to embezzle money from the dam budget and then destroy the town of Springfield with an explosion. Bart and Lisa overcome their distrust of Sideshow Bob and work with him to stop the destruction. Busted by the Springfield Police Department, Cecil is sent to jail. Bob is sent too, since no one believes that he didn't play a part in his brother's scheme.Guest Stars: Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob; David Hyde Pierce as Cecil	
08|17|4F13|10/11/96|My Sister, My Sitter|Lisa embarks on a career as a babysitter. She starts by watching Rod and Todd Flanders, which leads to numerous other babysitting gigs all over Springfield. When Homer and Marge decide they need some time to be alone together, they put Lisa in charge of Maggie and Bart. Bart is furious that his little sister is his babysitter and rebels as much as possible. Lisa tries to deal with Bart's numerous pranks and distractions, but things go a little too far and Lisa accidentally dislocates Bart's arm by pushing him down the stairs. Intent on getting Lisa in trouble, Bart hurts himself even more, knocking himself out. Panicked, Lisa tries to cover up what happened but winds up turning her failure as a babysitter into a public spectacle. At first, Lisa is sure no parents will ever trust her with their kids again, but sure enough, her clients call again and her business continues.
08|18|4F15|3/16/97|Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment|When Mayor Quimby and the Springfield City Hall brass ban all liquor from the town, Moe's Tavern becomes a speakeasy. But procuring booze proves extremely difficult, especially when Rex Banner, a straight-laced government prohibition agent, comes to town. It's up to Homer to start his own bootlegging operation to wet the whistles of Springfield's liquor-loving masses. Dubbing himself the Beer Baron, Homer manufactures all forms of alcohol in the basement of his house, nearly getting caught by Banner at every turn. When Banner finally does catch Homer, Chief Wiggum intervenes and the prohibition agent is sent packing. When an elderly City Hall clerk re-reads the town charter, the prohibition is repealed and the people of Springfield rejoice by getting smashed.Guest Star: Dave Thomas as Rex Banner	
08|19|4F09|4/06/97|Grade School Confidential|A casual conversation between Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel leads to a torrid love affair that nearly destroys a fairly good public school. The educators use Bart as their go-between and beard, bribing him with a clean permanent record if he keeps their secret and continues to pass love notes back and forth for them. Eventually, Bart grows sick and tired of being Skinner and Krabappel's third wheel and exposes them to the world. Learning of the affair, Superintendent Chalmers fires Skinner and Krabappel, who take the opportunity to speak to the public and the media about their relationship. When everything is cleared up, the townspeople realize that the affair is hardly inappropriate, the two educators get their jobs back and continue sharing their love, albeit much more privately.
08|20|4F16|4/13/97|The Canine Mutiny|After a computer mix-up, Santa's Little Helper gets his own credit card, which Bart uses to buy tons of expensive gadgets and gifts from catalogs. One of his many purchases is Laddie, a supremely bred dog that can do tricks, save lives, and use a toilet. The Simpson family falls madly in love with their new dog, nearly forgetting all about Santa's Little Helper, who can barely stand up, much less do a back flip (one of Laddie's many uncanny skills). When the credit card company gets wind of Bart's fraudulent purchases, however, repo men take back everything he bought, including the amazing new pet. In an act of extreme disloyalty, Bart convinces them to take Santa's Little Helper instead. At first no one really notices that Santa's Little Helper is gone, but Bart grows bored with his perfect new dog. He gives Laddie to Chief Wiggum and searches all over town for Santa's Little Helper. He finally finds his old pet serving as a seeing-eye dog for a blind man. Bart tries to steal Santa's Little Helper back, but the blind man catches him and turn him over to the police. When the police arrive with Laddie, the miracle dog sniffs the blind man and finds a stash of marijuana. Bart and Santa's Little Helper are allowed to go home while the cops detain the blind man and sample his goods.
08|21|4F17|4/20/97|The Old Man and Lisa|Mr. Burns loses all of his money through a series of foolish investments. Burns recalls how Lisa Simpson goaded him so roughly when he spoke at her school and decides to enlist her to help him gain his fortune back. At first, Lisa distrusts the evil tycoon, but together they start a recycling business that earns them a fortune, one nickel at a time. Burns soon branches out, starting a fish and dolphin trapping business that disgusts Lisa with its brutality. Lisa denounces Burns yet again, refusing to accept any of his money.
08|22|4F18|4/27/97|In Marge We Trust|Marge becomes a big hit with the Springfield Community Church parishioners when she begins dispensing her homespun advice. The church sets up a hotline that people can call to talk with Marge about their problems. Meanwhile, while digging for goodies at the garbage dump, Homer finds a box of Japanese dishwashing detergent called Mr. Sparkle with a picture of his face on it. After some investigation, Homer discovers that Mr. Sparkle is a huge brand name in Japan and that his likeness serves as their logo. Back at the church, Reverend Lovejoy is depressed because everyone is consulting Marge and not him. Even Ned Flanders asks Marge for help, but when Marge can't offer Ned any useful advice, Lovejoy intervenes and proves that he is best man for the job.Guest Star: Sab Shimono as Mr. Sparkle	
08|23|4F19|5/04/97|Homer's Enemy|A new employee named Frank Grimes comes to work at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Grimes has a huge chip on his shoulder after a life of bad luck and hard work: He was blown up in a silo explosion as a teenager, had to teach himself to hear and feel pain, got a degree in nuclear physics through correspondence courses, and now lives in an apartment over a bowling alley. The only thing that makes sense in his hard, hard life is hustle and determination. When he meets Homer, he is incensed that someone can live so well without doing anything at all. After one of Homer's particularly excessive displays of idiocy, Grimes imitates his coworker by purposely acting foolish. During the outburst, Grimes electrocutes himself and is killed instantly. Even at Grimes' funeral, the dead man is overshadowed by Homer, who makes the mourners break out in laughter when he falls asleep and asks Marge to turn off the TV.
08|24|4F20|5/11/97|The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase|Troy McClure, whom you might remember from such films as David vs. Super Goliath and They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall, hosts a star-filled view of the future of The Simpsons. First we see Chief Wiggum's spin-off, Chief Wiggum, P.I., in which everyone's favorite cushiony crime-fighter battles corruption as a private dick in New Orleans. Next up is The Love-Matic Grandpa, in which lovable Abe Simpson dies and is reincarnated as a barroom arcade game. Teamed with Moe the bartender, the new Grandpa coaches his buddy on the fine art of love. Finally, there's The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour, a hilarious and heartwarming hour of singing, dancing, guest stars, and beaver sketches. It's just like the real Simpsons we know and love, only without Lisa, who left the family to pursue other interests.Guest Stars: Tim Conway as himself; Gallard Sartain as Big Daddy	
08|25|4F21|5/18/97|The Secret War of Lisa Simpson|Bart and Lisa enroll in military school. While no fan of obeying orders, Bart eventually takes to the school, befriending some of the cadets and even earning the grudging respect of the school's Commandant. Lisa, on the other hand, is ostracized for being a girl and made to work twice as hard as everyone else. Bart tries to help her, but he's torn between the acceptance of his peers and his love for his sister. As part of the training program, all the kids must climb along a 150-foot rope strung across a patch of nasty thorn bushes. Lisa and Bart train for the task together and in the end manage to make it across successfully. Both agree to leave military school and return to their regular lives.Guest Star: Willem Dafoe as the Commandant	
09|01|4F22|9/21/97|The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson|New York City to Homer Simpson: Drop dead! When Barney steals Homer's car and leaves it illegally parked between the Twin Towers, Homer and his family are forced to go to the Big Apple to retrieve it. Homer confesses that he has hated New York ever since a bad experience there as a young man, but Marge and the kids are excited to check the city out. Once there, Homer heads downtown to get the car while the others check out the sites. Homer finds that his car has been fitted with a boot by the police, who have also papered his windshield with piles of parking tickets. Enraged when he misses his chance to talk with the cop responsible for the boot, Homer drives off with the thing still stuck on his car, tearing up the pavement all along Broadway. Homer uses a pile driver to break the boot, but winds up breaking much of his car in the process. After tracking down Marge and the kids and loading them into the ripped-up car, Homer speeds away from New York City, vowing never to return.
09|02|4F23|9/28/97|The Principal and the Pauper|Will the real Seymour Skinner please stand up? A man named Seymour Skinner shows up in Springfield claiming that the man who works as Springfield Elementary School's Principal is an imposter. It turns out that the Skinner who's lived in Springfield all these years is really named Armin Tamzarian, and met the real Seymour Skinner in Vietnam. The real Skinner was a highly decorated Sergeant, while Tamzarian was a fifties-style greaser and juvenile delinquent. The real Skinner was captured by the enemy, held in a POW camp for five years and then sold to China as a slave forced to make sneakers in Wuhan. Tamzarian stole his name and identity, moved to Springfield and took over Skinner's former life, even claiming the man's mother, Agnes, to be his own. With the real Skinner back, the fake Skinner quits his job at the school, moves out of his mother's house and starts a new life as a loser in Capital City. Meanwhile, the real Skinner takes over at Springfield Elementary School and proves to be much less bearable than the old Skinner. In desperation, Agnes Skinner, Mrs. Krabappel and the Simpsons travel to Capital City to beg Tamzarian to come back. With Tamzarian's return, Sergeant Skinner is banished from town and everyone agrees to accept Tamzarian back as Principal Seymour Skinner.Guest Star: Martin Sheen as Sergeant Seymour Skinner	
09|03|3G02|10/19/97|Lisa's Sax|A walk down memory lane reveals the sad story of Bart's first days in kindergarten. His dislike for school and problems making friends are exacerbated by the presence of his little sister, Lisa. While meeting with J. Loren Pryor, the Springfield Elementary School psychologist, few of Bart's problems are resolved, but Homer and Marge discover that Lisa is a gifted child. Trying to foster her gift, they try to get her into a special school but can't afford it. They decide to buy Lisa a musical instrument instead, thus beginning the girl's eight-year love affair with the saxophone.	Guest Star: Fyvush Finkel as Krusty the Clown
09|04|5F02|10/26/97|Treehouse of Horror VIII|Three new yucky Halloween yarns from your favorite yellow family. First, Homer seems to be the only survivor of a nuclear explosion. As the last living person on earth--literally, the Homega Man--Homer is free to do whatever he wants, specifically steal cars and crash them and dance naked in the Springfield Community Church. But Homer's revelry is cut short by a band of angry, flesh-eating mutants who survived the blast and are now hungry for Homer. Speeding in a car to Evergreen Terrace, Homer hides in his old home and discovers that his family has also survived the blast, protected by the layers and layers of lead paint in the house. Marge and kids are elated to see Homer and it's their pleasure to use their shotguns to blast holes in the mutants. In the second story, Homer buys a matter-transporting machine from Professor Frink's yard sale. He uses it to grab beers from the fridge without getting up from the couch and to quickly go to the bathroom while watching TV. When Bart goes inside the machine with a fly, his DNA is scrambled with the insect's an